


brighter than the sun

by jyancity



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Fic, M/M, Mentions of Death, Mild Language, Minor Character Death, Strangers to Lovers, author has never been to jeju island, unbetaed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:21:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25842016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jyancity/pseuds/jyancity
Summary: Taeyong sat down beside the little boy, watching as his curls bobbed while he chattered about his penguin drawing. In the future he would think back on this moment as the best and worst moment of his life. Worst, for what he had lost.Best, for everything that would come after☀The self-indulgent seaside Johnyong kidfic for JohnYong Fic Fest!
Relationships: Lee Taeyong/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 33
Kudos: 248
Collections: johnyong fest round 1





	brighter than the sun

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to the prompter for your lovely submission, I hope I did it justice.
> 
> An additional thank you to the admins, for being wonderful and gracious and everything you could hope for. This fest was such a delight to participate in because of you!
> 
> Please enjoy!
> 
> (this was JYFF Prompt 065)

The emergency ward was bathed in ugly fluorescent light which buzzed faintly like carrion flies overhead. Taeyong’s knee wouldn’t keep still, and he was past the point of caring about that. Ten reached out a hand, however, stilling it. 

“It’ll be okay.” He muttered in his lilting accent. Taeyong was also past the point of formulating words, but he rested his hand on top of his friend’s in thanks. It’d been an excruciating hour, the minutes trickling by like molasses, ever since he got the call from the police officer.

A car accident, the officer had said. Taeyong was her only emergency contact. Two people in the car, one of them had been critical, not likely to make it. The name of the hospital.

Without having to be asked, Ten had grabbed his keys, thrown Taeyong in the car, and sped to the hospital. Ten had told the woman at the front desk why they were there. Ten had sat with Taeyong and held his hand for the past thirty minutes in a waiting room, and then for another ten as they were escorted to a separate waiting room by a young orderly in a white coat. Taeyong had watched enough medical dramas with Ten to know what this room was for.

Sure enough, a doctor arrived with a brief knock on the doorframe, and Taeyong shot to his feet.

“Mister Lee?” She entered, shutting the door behind her before bowing briefly. “My name is Doctor Jung.”

“What’s happened?” Taeyong knew he was being rude, but he couldn’t bear the waiting. Not anymore. “Is Boa—?”

“I’m so sorry, Mister Lee.” The doctor shook her head. “Your sister has died.”

A million moments flashed through his mind. Boa smiling down at him, wiping his tears as he wailed over a scraped knee. Watching cartoons together on Saturday mornings before their parents were awake. Boa sneaking into his room to comfort him when his parents sent him to bed without dinner, always with a smuggled snack so he wouldn’t go to sleep hungry. The way she held him, so fierce and loving, when he told her he liked boys and begged her not to hate him. Her face when she told him over facetime about her son, after he had finally spoken to her again after years of him resenting her for nothing. 

His older sister, his only family in this world, was gone.

“I am so sorry, Taeyong.” He didn’t realize that Ten is holding him until he murmured in his ear, squeezing him tight. As if a hug could hold together the pieces fracturing within him.

“You need to know, Mister Lee,” the doctor spoke softly, “your nephew survived the crash. He is doing fine, but he doesn’t know… You should see him, when you’re ready.”

“Donghyuck?” The name caused the fog in his mind to recede for a brief moment. “Are my parents..?”

“We have only notified emergency contacts.” Doctor Jung shook her head, “You were the only one listed, meaning that you’re his legal guardian.”

“Okay.” Taeyong breathed, using his palms to wipe away the tears. “Take me to him.”

The room they had Donghyuck in was quiet, several vacant rooms down from the last inhabited room. Taeyong appreciated it, the poor kid had already been through enough this evening. He was sitting on his tummy, a coloring book and a small box of crayons in front of him. He gripped a purple one in his small fist, scribbling across Pororo’s face as if the penguin had done something to personally offend him. His brows furrowed in concentration, his tongue poking out of his lip as he worked, and he looked so very much like his mother that Taeyong felt, for the first of many times, that he would never go a day without thinking of her.

The nurse sitting beside him murmured softly to him, pointing at the drawing with a small smile, and Taeyong watched a grin break over his nephew’s face. He was a joyful kid, Boa had told him as much, but finally seeing it in person was something else. He cleared his throat, and the nurse glanced up.

“Donghyuck-ah, someone is here to see you.” She nudged the little boy, and his head whipped around, face so openly expectant that Taeyong wasn’t sure what else to do but try to smile.

“Hi.” Taeyong crossed the threshold, and the nurse took that moment to make a quick escape. “It’s very nice to meet you, Donghyuck. I’m—.”

“Uncle Yong?” Donghyuck asked. The question knocked the wind out of him.

“How did…?” Taeyong blinked, swallowed, tried again. “Did the doctors tell you I was coming?”

“I see you lots,” the little boy smiled, “Mommy has a picture of you on the fridge from your grad-i-ation.”

“She does?” He managed around the tightness in his throat.

“Mm.” Donghyuck nodded, glancing back down at his drawing. “Wanna see my Pororo?” 

Taeyong sat down beside the little boy, watching as his curls bobbed while he chattered about his penguin art. In the future he would think back on this moment as the best and worst moment of his life. Worst, for what he had lost.

Best, for everything that would come after.

☀☀☀

The Starry Night Guesthouse had certainly seen better days. The front door swung open, scattering dust motes into the sunny room. The lights were all off, his footsteps on the hardwood bouncing off the lobby walls. Glancing around, Taeyong knew his sister had been right. It wasn’t much, but the view was killer. Even from the front door, all he could see was the floor to ceiling windows to the left of the reception counter, looking out over the cyan waves of the Yellow Sea.

Wriggling down from his place in Taeyong’s arms, Donghyuck charged ahead as soon as his feet hit the lobby floor, squealing gleefully. The tiny child ran right under the counter, disappearing through the doorway behind it. Taeyong followed, flipping up the counter and looking around. In typical fashion, his sister was tidy when she needed to be, every paper in a labeled spot. It wouldn’t be too difficult to find anything. Taeyong let his bag slide off his shoulder, wandering toward the window overlooking the sea below, lost in thought.

Ten had been shocked by his sudden decision.

“I’m thinking of moving.” Taeyong had blurted out in the middle of breakfast. Ten was making some kind of soup for the two of them, but Donghyuck had been complaining about being hungry, so Taeyong had thrown together some microwave oatmeal. The toddler wasn’t a fan.

“You’re _what_?” Ten gaped, staring at him for a couple of seconds. He shook his head. “Absolutely not. No.”

“I all done.” Donghyuck whined.

“Just a little more, okay kiddo?” Taeyong begged, but the toddler clenched his jaw and moved his face away when the spoon came closer. “Tennie, I already decided. Boa’s guesthouse needs to be managed. She left it to me to eventually hand over to Donghyuck if he wants it. If I don’t do it, nobody will.”

“You’re grieving.” The shorter man shook his head, turning back to the pot of soup he was stirring on the stove. “You can’t make this decision right now, Yong. Maybe in a few months—”

“It can’t wait that long.” Taeyong offered a spoonful of oatmeal to a squirming Donghyuck, who was whining to be put down. “Three more bites, sunshine, please? For Uncle Yong?”

“Then lease it.” Ten suggested, “You can’t just up and move away after something like this. You need to see a therapist, and frankly, so does he.” He pointed his spoon at the toddler who, having completed his agreed upon three bites of breakfast, was staring meaningfully at his uncle.

“Down now?” He asked quietly, eyes wide and face covered in oatmeal. Taeyong sighed, dampening a napkin with some water from his glass and wiping the baby’s face.

“Yes, you can go play now. Walk, don’t run!” He allowed the toddler to slide down from his lap, and the child bolted toward their hastily-childproofed living room. Taeyong hadn’t exactly had any toys at the time of bringing Donghyuck home, but he and Ten had made do with a couple of old Funko Pop figures they were okay with sacrificing, and a random teddy bear Ten had been planning to bring back to his own nephew when he returned to visit Thailand in a few months. The little boy had taken a shine to the bear, and was rarely seen around the apartment without it in tow. 

“It’s like he doesn’t even know, TY. That can’t be normal.” Ten huffed, stirring the pot as if the contents had personally offended him. “You know I’m only saying this because I love you, but please don’t move away from the only support system you have. Unfamiliarity can’t be good for either of you right now—”

“It won’t be unfamiliar for him. He keeps asking to go home.” Taeyong had poked at the oatmeal, congealed and cold. No wonder the kid didn’t want it. “But you’re right, he doesn’t really understand what’s going on. I should have taken him to the funeral—.”

“And subjected the both of you to your parents?” Ten’s face darkened. “No, absolutely not. Boa wouldn’t have wanted that, from what you’ve told me.”

“But he might have needed the closure!” Taeyong raked a hand over his face, willing away the tears that were blocking his throat. They wouldn’t help his case. “I feel like I’m already making so many mistakes, and I’ve only had him for a little over a week. I know Boa didn’t want him to go to my parents, and god knows who his dad is because she never told me, but there _has_ to be someone else—!”

“There is nobody else, Yongie.” Ten set down the spoon, shut off the burner, and crossed the room. Before he could even blink, he was being embraced by his best friend. “This situation is terrible, it’s absolute shit, but you said it yourself. It has to be you.”

“I know.” Taeyong despised the way his voice cracked, the way his breath was shaky.

“But that doesn’t mean you have to be alone.” Ten murmured, cradling his head and petting his hair. “Just give it some time, okay? Think about it a little longer, give it a couple of months. Lease the guesthouse out, or let it just be empty for a little.”

“No.” Taeyong had shaken his head, pulling away. “It’s the off season, Tennie, I can’t just leave it empty, it’ll get vandalized, or a typhoon will come and damage it, and I can’t… That guesthouse meant everything to my sister, you should have heard the way she talked about her Yelp reviews. Boa trusted me with both of the things she treasured most in the world, Tennie, I have to take care of them.”

“Taeyong—!”

“I’ll find a therapist down there. I promise, I’ll find one for both of us. I’ll call you every single day.” Taeyong had stood, facing his best friend, roommate, and honestly his only family left in the world. “I promise you, Ten, I’ll do it. But I _have_ to go. For her.” 

Ten had stared at him for a long time, searching every inch of his face, before his own expression filled with resignation.

“Okay.” He nodded. “Okay, if you think it’s what’s best, I respect your decision. But make no mistake, Lee Taeyong, you _will_ call me every day, and I am going to get time off work as soon as possible to come visit you and make sure you’re doing okay.

And so he’d quit his job. Not that it was particularly his passion, but working at the bakery had been a good experience. The owner, Kyungsoo, wasn’t particularly inclined toward emotion, but he had wished Taeyong the best, even adding severance pay to his final paycheck.

He was still settling things with the lawyers — honestly, he would probably be in contact with the lawyers about everything until Donghyuck went to college — but he was able to get ahold of the keys and sign the things Boa had left him into his name, and begin setting up his guardianship of Donghyuck. 

On their last morning in Seoul, Ten had left a sonorous kiss on both of their faces, swearing that he would make good on his word and come visit as soon as he could manage time away from the studio. Of course, Ten couldn’t get an entire week off of work for at least a month, but that suited Taeyong just fine. He needed some time to settle down and sweep up the cobwebs that had begun forming in the three weeks since the place had last been occupied.

Now, standing in the lobby of the second most precious thing in his sister’s world, Taeyong realized it had been a while since the first went tottling off on his own.

“Donghyuck!” He called, rounding the desk and poking his head through the door the child had disappeared into. It led to a small office with a large, beat-up oak desk in the corner, on top of which rested an ancient looking desktop computer. Behind it sat a cracking leather chair with wheels and a sturdy gray filing cabinet. In the corner was a rug printed with an aerial view of a neighborhood with roads, a small chest of toys next to it. Donghyuck stood on the carpet, staring fixedly at the desk.

“Where’s my momma?” His eyes were already full of tears, and this was the moment Taeyong had known was coming. No matter what Ten said, no matter the fact that, before leaving Seoul, Taeyong had taken the child to visit her urn and photo in the columbarium— despite all of that, there was no way for Donghyuck to understand that his mother was no longer here. 

“She’s gone, buddy.” Taeyong said, and it took all the strength he had not to crumble. He had to hold it together. For Donghyuck. “We visited her before we left. Do you remember?” The words burned as they left his throat, but he couldn’t sugarcoat it.

“But she can come back?” The way the toddler’s eyes still held hope was enough to turn the fissure in Taeyong’s chest into a full-blown canyon. Lying wouldn’t help, though. Not now, and certainly not in the long run. 

“No.” Taeyong cleared his throat, vision blurring as his own eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry, Donghyuck. She can’t come back.”

“But…” His chin wobbled, face crumpling. “But I _want_ her!”

“Oh, come here.” Before he knew it, he had the wailing toddler in his arms, cradled him as he screamed and kicked and got snot and tears all over his shoulder. “I know, buddy. I know. I miss her too. I miss her so much.”

“Mommaaaaaa!” Donghyuck wailed, loud enough that Taeyong was certain his left eardrum would burst.

“Good job, kid. Let it out.” Taeyong leaned against the wall, sliding down to sit on the carpet his sister had clearly placed in the corner dedicated for her son to play in while she worked. Donghyuck let out another ear-shattering wail, which broke off into hiccuping sobs. “Good boy. That’s good. You can yell as much as you want.”

The child gave no indication that he heard, grabbing a fistful of Taeyong’s hoodie and burying his face into his neck. Taeyong didn’t bother trying to figure out how long the toddler took to calm down, but by the time the crying became quiet, shallow breaths, the sun was meandering its way down to the horizon. He shifted the sleeping toddler in his arms as he stood, making sure to turn off the light in the office before closing the door quietly behind him. The lobby stood unchanged, but the setting sun cast long shadows throughout the quiet space. The guesthouse was built on a cliffside, overlooking the waves as the sun bathed everything in gold.

Boa’s little apartment just off of the lobby was just as she left it — door unlocked and everything. 

_Trusting idiot_ , Taeyong thought to himself as he walked right in. 

The space was so clearly lived in, his sister could have just been in the other room from the way she left it. There were some dirty dishes still in the sink, a jacket thrown over the couch along with some baby-sized shoes laying in a pile by the doorway, and a lamp in the corner was still on. Off of the living room was a hallway with a bathroom on the left and two tiny bedrooms on the right. The first room was clearly Donghyuck’s, with toys littered all over the floor and a crib pushed against the wall. The room at the end of the hall could only belong to his sister, and while Taeyong was ready to pass out, he wasn’t prepared on any level to sleep in a bed that probably still smelled like his sister.

Donghyuck shifted in his arms and Taeyong shook himself out of his daze. The baby needed to be put down. Then he could grab his bag from the lobby, lock the car, take care of those dishes because they were probably already smelly—.

“We go bed now?” Donghyuck mumbled. Taeyong’s heart clenched at how the little boy’s eyes were still puffy from crying earlier.

“Yeah buddy, give me a minute and I’ll put you in your crib—.” Taeyong whispered, moving into the room.

“No!” Donghyuck shrieked. “No leave! You stay!”

“Hey, you’re okay.” Taeyong tried to soothe, but the toddler was beginning to cry again. “What’s all this about? You were fine last night—?”

“I be good!” He wailed, wrapping his arms around Taeyong’s neck in a surprisingly strong embrace. “I be _good!_ Stay please!”

“I’m not leaving, Donghyuck.” It felt like ice water had just been dumped over his head. Ten had been right, the kid needed a therapist. “Hey, I’m staying, okay? I promise, do you know what a promise is? It means that I’m always going to be here, forever and ever.”

“You stay?” The toddler’s voice was nasal with congestion, tears still running fresh down his face in wet tracks. Taeyong pulled down the sleeve of his hoodie, wiping the baby’s nose with it before switching arms to use his other clean sleeve to wipe his tears.

“I stay.” He nodded solemnly. “You wanna sleep with Uncle Yong tonight, then?”

“Yes please.” Donghyuck’s chubby cheek came to rest on his shoulder once more, and Taeyong wasted no time in vacating the apartment, locking the car and picking up his duffel as he went back through the lobby. Picking the first key he could find, he made his way up the stairs and somehow managed to unlock the door to room 201. He spared a longing thought to the jerky elevator in his and Ten’s apartment building.

 _If nothing else,_ he mused, _this whole guardian thing is going to help me build muscle._

The room overlooked the ocean, and Taeyong watched as the last light of the day faded into the horizon. He dropped the duffel unceremoniously at the door, and laid Donghyuck on the side of the bed closest to the wall. The toddler didn’t even move, he was so deeply asleep. Still, Taeyong gave into the nagging voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like his sister, placing pillows all around the child so he wouldn’t roll away anywhere. 

The clock on the bedside table read 7:45, and while he felt that sending the kid to bed without having fed him first was definitely a mistake, it wasn’t worth waking him up and having him continue to cry. They’d had an early start that morning anyhow, so it was probably needed.

He glanced longingly at his luggage, wondering if he should take advantage of Donghyuck sleeping and take a shower, or give into exhaustion and not shower until nap time the next day. Exhaustion won out before he could even finish that thought, and he was lying down facing Donghyuck a moment later. 

The toddler snuffled, taking a deep, hiccupy breath before he absolutely melted into the bed, mouthing nonsensical words in some baby language unknown to those over the age of five. Giving in to the whims of his sleep-deprived brain, Taeyong reached out a finger to poke at the tiny mole on his nephew’s cheek, and the baby wrinkled his nose before turning his face away. The elder stifled a giggle.

“Okay.” Taeyong murmured, his breath stirring Donghyuck’s curls. “We’re gonna be okay.”

☀☀☀

According to his maps app, the small town down the hill only had one grocery store. His sister had chosen the location because it was remote and picturesque, but it was still a bit shocking, as Taeyong had lived in Seoul for so long. It was truly a miracle that there was even a therapist office in town, and it was the first number Taeyong called upon waking up. They answered after the first ring.

“Doctor Moon’s office, how can I help you?” The voice on the other side of the line was warm and friendly.

“Hi, my name is Lee Taeyong, I was wondering if you have any availability to see two people? Or if you don’t, then just one is okay. Does the doctor even see little kids? Shit— I mean, shoot. Sorry, I’m rambling now. Sorry.” Taeyong silently bemoaned the lack of sleep and absence of coffee. 

“You’re fine!” They replied with a chuckle, “I should have specified— _I’m_ Doctor Moon. I apologize, sometimes I forget that other people have receptionists. I do have availability for two people, but are you related?”

“Yes we are. Is that… not allowed?” Taeyong chewed his lip. He was speaking softly, but Donghyuck was beginning to wake up anyway.

“It’s perfectly fine, how old is your child?”

“He’s my nephew, he’s two and a half. His name is Donghyuck. I’m his guardian. His mom, my sister… She passed away a couple weeks ago. I’m mostly worried about him, but I figure I could also use some help in figuring out how to take care of him.” At the sound of his own name, Donghyuck sat up from where he had been sleeping and looked at him, curly hair a dark mess on top of his head, eyes still scrunched up and adjusting to the light.

“I’m so sorry to hear that, Taeyong. ” Doctor Moon replied, and despite the fact that Taeyong had heard that phrase countless times in the last week, he didn’t doubt the sincerity of the doctor’s tone. “I have to say, I don’t normally take on children. Are you sure you wouldn’t want a referral? I have a colleague who specializes in children, his office is a bit of a drive, but he’s an excellent option.”

“Well, that’s one of the issues.” Taeyong sighed. “She died in a car accident, he gets kind of nervous about being in the car now. I pretty much tricked him into taking a baby Xanax, gave him the ipad and downloaded a bunch of kid movies to move us down here, and even then it was a rough drive down.”

“I see. Okay, I’ll take him on as well. What day works best for you?” The doctor asked, and Taeyong let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, relief flooding his body. 

Donghyuck, having become more awake in the previous few minutes of sitting upright and looking around dazedly, crawled to the edge of the bed and carefully slid off, landing on the carpet with a dull _thunk_. He made his way over to Taeyong, pulling himself into the elder’s lap before leaning into his chest with a thumb tucked neatly into his mouth. Frowning, Taeyong pulled the baby’s hand away, but Donghyuck whined until he let go, his thumb going right back where it was. Boa had mentioned breaking that habit about a year ago. She had been so excited about it, too.

 _Strange_ , Taeyong sighed.

“Uh, I’m free pretty much any time, but mornings are probably best.” He replied belatedly. He needed to figure out a work schedule so that Donghyuck could have a sense of normalcy, too.

“Okay, how does Friday at ten sound?” Doctor Moon’s voice had an audible smile. It was nice.

“Perfect, see you then.” Taeyong replied. “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem, see you then.”

After ending the call, Taeyong leaned back in the chair, letting his head rest against the wall and closing his eyes for a glorious moment. Donghyuck was a warm and reassuring weight in his lap, and for some reason, the kid was being a sweet little cuddle bug instead of the hungry pancake demon he had shown himself to be over the last couple of weeks.

“We have breakfast?” Came the small voice, and Taeyong valiantly swallowed down the exhausted groan that desperately wanted to escape him.

“Yeah, bud.” He smiled, planting a kiss in the mess of curls. “Let’s have breakfast.”

He didn’t trust any of the food in Boa’s apartment— it had been over two weeks since any of the things in the fridge had even been touched, and his sister hadn’t exactly been the kind of person to label her food with dates. With the day’s agenda still up in the air, Taeyong threw Donghyuck into some new clothes, put some dry shampoo in his own hair (he really should have showered the night before), and drove them down to the tiny diner down by the beach. It was small and old-looking, but clearly well taken care of and probably cleaner than the standard beachside diner. As he pulled into a parking spot near the doors, Donghyuck let out a cheer, kicking his feet excitedly.

“You like this restaurant, huh?” Taeyong laughed, ducking out of the car to circle around to the back. Donghyuck was already wrestling with his carseat straps, only pulling his hands away to let Taeyong fully free him. The toddler slid out of his seat and jumped onto Taeyong like a spidermonkey.

“Choco pancakes!” he shrieked gleefully, his tiny arms forming a vice grip around Taeyong’s neck.

“Okay kid, let’s get you some choco pancakes.” Taeyong locked the car behind them, carrying Donghyuck into the restaurant.

The teen by the host stand seemed to be scrolling through his phone, bored. At the chime of the door, he glanced up, a smile brightening his face as his eyes landed on Donghyuck.

“Hey bud!” He beamed. Donghyuck held out a hand, and he gently high-fived him. “How are you? It’s been a while, huh?”

Donghyuck was hardly shy, but Taeyong watched in confusion as the little boy tucked his thumb into his mouth once again, shrinking into his shoulder. The hand not in his mouth curled into Taeyong’s sweatshirt.

“Sorry, he’s having a morning.” Taeyong rubbed Donghyuck’s back. The toddler snuggled further into his side. “I’m Taeyong, his uncle.”

“Oh.” The boy’s eyes went wide, some soft emotion melting his chocolatey eyes. “Oh, you’re Boa’s brother.” 

Her name was still enough to make his stomach fall somewhere into his feet.

“Yes.” Taeyong nodded. His smile felt tighter. “That’s me.”

“I have to say, we all knew her and loved her.” He reached a hand out to rub against Dongyuck’s back. “It’s a small community, everyone knows everyone. I was her receptionist last summer, and I always used to babysit Hyuckie when Johnny was away.”

“Ah.” Taeyong blinked, once again regretting his inability to keep track of the people his sister would mention during their phone calls. Then again, he had never expected these people to become part of his life, too.

“I’m Jungwoo, by the way.” The boy gathered up a couple of menus, gesturing for Taeyong to follow. “Is the usual table alright for you?”

“I didn’t know she ate here enough to have a usual table.” They stopped at a corner booth, nestled up against the big bay window overlooking the beach. “Makes sense, though. Boa hated cooking.”

“That she did.” Jungwoo laughed, setting the menus on the table. “I’ll go grab a booster for Hyuck.”

“Thank you.” Taeyong smiled, sliding into the seat.

“Tank you.” Donghyuck echoed, his thumb still in his mouth. While Jungwoo disappeared around the corner, Taeyong slid into the booth, the vinyl crackling mutedly against his jeans.

“Okay, kiddo. Can you show me where your choco pancakes are?” Taeyong spread out the menu in front of them, Donghyuck nestled in his lap like a squirmy space heater.

“M’kay.” Chubby hands reached out to flip through the laminated pages. The toddler’s brow crinkled with focus, and Taeyong admired how studiously he looked at the menu considering he couldn’t read yet.

“I should probably figure out your preschool situation soon, hm?” Donghyuck’s curls tickled his chin as he mused to himself, and the toddler himself seemed content to ignore his uncle as he flipped to the last page, eyes widening as they landed on the item he desired.

“Uncle ‘Yong?” Donghyuck’s finger landed smack in the middle of the kiddie menu, right on a photo of a stack of fluffy chocolate chip pancakes in the shape of a famous mouse’s head. “I get this one please?”

“Yes, of course bud.” Taeyong smiled, leaning his cheek on the baby’s head. “You want some juice, too?”

“Yeah!” A chubby hand flew up, smacking him in the mouth as the child cheered.

“Oof! Use your manners, kiddo.” Taeyong couldn’t help but laugh. His lip stung, but his nephew was just so cute.

“Oh!” Donghyuck straightened up, folding his hands. “Yeah _please_.”

“Good job.” Jungwoo returned, sliding the booster seat onto the table.

“I can handle him for a sec while you get situated?” He offered, holding his arms out.

“Thanks.” The part of Taeyong that had lived in Seoul for the past five years was reluctant to hand his adorable ward over to a stranger, but he knew that he was treading on foreign territory. Even more so, territory that was familiar to Donghyuck. The kid needed to know that some things in his life were still familiar. Jungwoo was part of that life, the one that he’d had with Boa. Jungwoo was a connection to his mother.

So it came as a surprise that Donghyuck let out an ear-rupturing scream the moment Jungwoo pulled him from Taeyong’s arms.

“Oh!” The boy’s eyes widened, the toddler immediately bursting into tears as he flailed in his arms.

“No!” Donghyuck wailed. “Nooooo!”

“Hey, buddy.” Taeyong stood, gathering the squirming child into his arms. Like a switch went off in his curly little head, Donghyuck settled, burying his face into Taeyong’s shoulder. “Hey, what’s all that about?” 

“I’m so sorry,” Jungwoo had paled several shades, “I didn’t mean to upset him.”

“No, it’s okay.” Taeyong rubbed a hand over the toddler’s back, shaking his head. “Like I said, it’s been a weird morning for him.”

“Still,” the boy tried for a smile, reaching over to run a hand over Donghyuck’s curls, “I’m sorry for scaring you, sweetie.”

“S’okay.” Donghyuck mumbled around his thumb. Jungwoo’s thumb brushed across the baby’s plump cheek before he stepped back with a smile.

“I’ll get your choco pancakes out super fast, alright sunshine?” He smiled before turning to the elder. “And what can I get for you?”

“Uh.” He hadn’t thought about it. “Just whatever you think is the best thing on the menu. And coffee, please.”

“Fisherman’s breakfast special, coming right up.” Jungwoo nodded, rushing back to the kitchen. The kid was so clearly a sweetheart, Taeyong hoped he wasn’t going to cry.

“What’s up with you, kid?” He sighed, giving Donghyuck an extra squeeze as he slid back out of the booth, grabbing the booster seat and setting it down. “You know Jungwoo, don’t you? Why were you screaming?”

“I wanna stay with you.” Donghyuck’s wide brown eyes were still a little teary as Taeyong helped him into his booster. His thumb was still resolutely tucked into his mouth, chin wobbling just the slightest bit. “You said you stay.”

“Oh, boy.” Taeyong frowned as he slid back into his seat. “It’s a good thing we’re going to see Doctor Moon, then.”

“Huckie!” Taeyong registered the sound of those little squeaky shoes that babies wear, before a tiny child was running right under their table and wiggling his way up onto the seat.

“Mak!” Donghyuck squealed delightedly, and it was the most joy Taeyong had seen on the kid’s face since—.

Well.

“Mark!” A man with dark hair falling over his forehead came running toward their table, leaning across Taeyong to snatch the other toddler up. “I told you to hold your brother’s hand, little cub.”

“I’m sowwy papa.” The small boy, Mark, pet his father’s shoulder apologetically, leaning up to leave a sweet kiss on his cheek. “Look! Huckie’s here!”

“I can see that.” The man huffed, turning to Taeyong with an apologetic smile. “Sorry about that. I’m Doyoung. You must be Donghyuck’s uncle.”

“Taeyong.” He stood, bowing. “It’s nice to meet you. I guess Mark here is Donghyuck’s friend?”

“Oh, they’re best friends. We’re part of a parent group here in town.” Doyoung nods, gesturing over his shoulder toward another man setting a baby carrier down a couple booths down from their own. “My husband, Yuta, works from home, and I’m usually wrangling this monkey and his brothers, so it helps us socialize the kids and ourselves, you know?”

As if on cue, another toddler came stumbling over, clinging to Doyoung’s pant leg.

“Papa!” He cooed, making grabby hands up at his father. With a good-natured sigh, Doyoung leaned down to scoop the little one into his free arm.

“Jeno, Mark, say hi to mister Taeyong.” Doyoung prompted.

“Hi, I’m Mawk.” Mark waved. “I like twucks.”

 _‘Trucks.’_ Doyoung mouthed from behind his son.

“Hi mister Taeyong.” Jeno smiled, shier than his older brother, but unbelievably sweet. Taeyong felt a pull on his hoodie sleeve, turning to see Donghyuck had wiggled out of his seat and wanted to be held. Obligingly, Taeyong scooped the toddler into his arms.

“Hi Nono.” Donghyuck mumbled around his thumb, cuddling into his uncle’s shoulder.

“Can Huckie come to our house today?” Mark asked, bursting with energy. “Please?”

“Oh, I don’t know, bud…” Taeyong winced, remembering the outburst that happened not even ten minutes prior.

“Maybe another time, little cub.” Doyoung supplied, eyes softening as he glanced over Donghyuck. “Like at play group? It’s at our place this week, it’ll give you a chance to get acquainted with all of Hyuckie’s friends and their parents.”

“There aren’t many of us, but we try to be there for each other.” Taeyong startled as a new voice joined the conversation. It was Doyoung’s husband, cradling a groggy baby in his arms. “Hi, I’m Yuta. This sleepy little guy is Jisung. Sorry our family already accosted you.”

“I’m Taeyong, and it’s fine. Donghyuck clearly loves you guys, so I’d love to join if you don’t mind.” Taeyong adjusted his hold as Donghyuck leaned forward, extending a chubby hand to gently pet the wispy hair on Jisung’s head. The baby stirred, blinking his sleepy eyes at Donghyuck before letting out a gentle coo. Donghyuck beamed. “I think it’d be good for him to be able to maintain his normal routine as much as possible.”

“Yes, routine is everything at this age.” Doyoung nodded, darting a glance between Taeyong and Donghyuck. He seemed to be torn between saying something and not wanting to overstep. 

Taeyong was coming to realize that he was going to be faced with quite a few moments like this. Boa had always said word traveled fast around here. He wasn’t sure how everyone seemed to know already, but at least he didn’t have to break the news himself. Still, he braced himself as Doyoung seemed to come to a decision.

“We’re very sorry to hear about your sister.” He said, and Taeyong felt as Donghuck’s hand fisted the fabric of his hoodie once more. “I’m sure we don’t have to tell you, but everyone here loved her. Seriously. She was wonderful and I know we’re strangers to you, but we considered her and Hyuckie an extension of our family.”

“I’m glad.” Taeyong nodded, cuddling Donghyuck a little closer. “She always spoke so highly of the community out here, I’m not surprised in the slightest.”

“Since you’re Donghyuck’s guardian, we just want you to know that we’re available if you ever need anything.” Yuta shifted Jisung in his arms, the baby flailing his little arms, patting at his father’s face.

“Yes! Absolutely,” Doyoung nodded, “being responsible for little ones is overwhelming when you’re prepared for it. I can’t imagine how jarring this must be for the both of you, and I know we don’t know each other that well just yet but I hope you know that her community is your community now, too. It takes a village, you know?”

“Thank you.” Taeyong cleared his throat, trying his best not to sound as choked up as he felt. “That means more than you know. Truly.”

“If my arms weren’t full of toddlers, I would hug you.” Doyoung pouted, hoisting Mark up from where he was slyly wiggling his way to freedom.

“Here, I’ll give you this.” Yuta fished around with his free hand, producing a business card from his back pocket. “This is my number, just shoot me a text and I’ll send you the details about group this week.”

“Thanks.” Taeyong nodded, glancing at the card. _Nakamoto Yuta, Attorney_. It made sense, the kind of people who lived out in this area probably had to be rich.

“We’ll leave you to your breakfast.” Doyoung smiled, grimacing a little as Jeno leaned back in his arms, throwing his balance. Like a flash, Yuta’s free hand darted out to push the toddler back into place.

“It was nice meeting you.” Yuta nodded, bouncing a happily cooing Jisung.

“You too!” Taeyong smiled, whispering to Donghyuck. “Say bye, buddy.”

“Bye-bye!” The toddler sent a flying kiss to each of his friends.

“See you later!” Doyoung smiled, turning back to their table. He only made it a few steps away before parent mode clearly turned on, and he was whisper-scolding Mark for a number of things Taeyong could only begin to imagine.

“Tell Johnny we say hi.” Yuta nodded, returning with Doyoung to their table. Taeyong paused.

“Who?” He glanced down at Donghyuck, whose eyes were set on the kitchen. Jungwoo was emerging with two steaming plates and an enormous grin.

“Sorry for the wait!” He slid the plates across the table, reaching out to tickle Donghyuck’s tummy with his free hands. “I’ll be right back with your drinks.”

As Jungwoo bustled away, back into the kitchen, Taeyong turned to put Donghuck back in his booster seat, Yuta’s strange comment already forgotten.

☀☀☀

It was inevitable that, eventually, someone was going to want to stay at the guesthouse. Even though it was the off-season, it was Jeju, after all.

The call came later that day, just as Taeyong was making his way through the lobby with the last couple bags of groceries. They had run to the store after leaving the diner, running into a few more people who Donghyuck knew, and Taeyong didn’t. He was worried about his ability with remembering names and faces, and it wasn’t like he could rely on his three-year-old nephew to help him through every interaction.

He was planning on spending the afternoon cleaning up the apartment kitchen, making the space liveable again. He couldn’t stay in the guestroom forever, after all. However, he would be sleeping on the couch until the thought of opening Boa’s bedroom door didn’t make him want to absolutely fall apart.

He wasn’t ready for that. Not yet.

The shrill ring of the phone cut through his worries, and Donghyuck’s shrill little voice rung out from Boa’s apartment.

“Phone!” He squealed, running to the doorway. Taeyong sighed, setting the bags on the reception desk, ducking under the counter to the other side.

“Hello?” He hummed, glancing at Donghyuck. The toddler stood in the doorway, watching him with a strange amount of intensity for a three year old.

“Um, hi.” The voice on the other line cleared their throat. “Is this the Starry Night Guesthouse?”

“Oh!” Taeyong gasped, realizing he had answered in a way rather unbecoming of a manager. His customer service persona took over, voice brightening by several degrees. Donghyuck’s nose scrunched. “Yes, I apologize! Um, what can I do for you today?”

“I wanted to book a room on your website, but my computer is having some issues and I figured it would be faster to just call.” The girl sounded a little awkward. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah! We can do that for you, just let me...” Taeyong nodded, cradling the phone between his shoulder and ear. “I need to log into the computer real quick. Sorry.”

“It’s fine!” Taeyong felt his face burn at the awkward silence as he typed the password into the computer as fast as he could. Thankfully he got it right on the first try, only because of the sticky note stuck to the bottom of the desktop’s screen, _password: starrynight0701_ printed in Boa’s messy handwriting.

“Okay,” He sighed, loading the website, “can I get a name and some dates for your booking?”

The rest of the process was easy enough, and the couple would be staying in a room on the second floor facing the ocean for their honeymoon. Still, when he hung the phone back on the receiver, Taeyong took a moment to cradle his head in his hands.

There was no way for him to do this. His sister clearly had the whole _single handedly raising a child and running a business_ thing down, but he felt like he was falling short at every turn, no matter how hard he tried. His sister had too much faith in his abilities, thinking he could take over for her in a situation like this—

“Uncle Yong?” Taeyong felt a tug at the hem of his sweatshirt, and he peeked through his fingers to see Donghyuck staring up at him with nothing but trust in his big, brown, teddy bear eyes. “You want help with the grosh-ees?” 

Taeyong’s eyes slid to the bags still sitting on the counter next to him.

“Yeah, bud.” He smiled, choosing the lightest of the bunch to hand to the toddler. “I’d love some help with the groceries. Thank you.”

He wasn’t alone. If nothing else, he had Donghyuck. They were in it together, the two of them.

☀☀☀

Doctor Moon’s office was settled in the heart of town, further from the beach than the tourist attractions. That wasn’t saying much, considering the ocean was still visible from the main road. Taeyong sat fidgeting in an armchair in the front room, pretending to read a parenting magazine as he tried to listen through the soundproof walls for any sign of distress.

He hadn’t been anticipating leaving Donghyuck with a complete stranger, and despite the fact that he was still present in the building, he was nervous. The toddler hadn’t started crying when Doctor Moon had asked him to step out for a moment so he could conduct their session, but Taeyong had caught his gaze just as the door swung shut, and the toddler was definitely alarmed.

The doctor had promised to come get Taeyong if Donghyuck was inconsolable, but what if he didn’t know as much about children as he should? What if Donghyuck was crying, or worse, thought his uncle had abandoned him? Taeyong shoved off the chair just as the office door swung open.

Doctor Moon stood with a cheerful Donghyuck on his hip, smiling serenely.

“We’re all finished!” He beamed, bouncing the toddler just a bit. “Isn’t that right?”

“Hi Uncle Yong!” Donghyuck squirmed down from the therapist’s arms, running to wrap his arms around Taeyong’s legs. “We played with toys!”

“You did?” Taeyong bent down, lifting his nephew into his arms. He grabbed his bag, glancing at Doctor Moon, who nodded and gestured for him to enter the room. “Did you help Doctor Moon clean up after?”

“Mmhm.” Donghyuck nodded. “We come back tomorrow and play?”

“Maybe not tomorrow, bud, but we’ll come back to visit next week.” Taeyong laughed as he entered the office. The Doctor shut the door gently.

“Please, take a seat.” He nodded toward a large leather couch. Taeyong followed as directed, immediately sinking into the cushions. “I need a couple minutes to get things ready, if you don’t mind setting Donghyuck up with his show?”

“Yeah! Of course.” Taeyong grabbed the tablet from the bag, and a set of headphones he found in a drawer in Boa’s desk. “Okay, sunshine, what are you watching today?”

“I watch Paw Patrol please.” Donghyuck answered right away. Taeyong was hardly surprised. The toddler had enough Paw Patrol pajamas to guess it was his favorite show.

“You got it.” Taeyong slid the headphones onto his little head, smiling at how the ear coverings were practically the size of his head. The toddler settled in as the opening credits began to roll, happily squirming into his uncle’s side. Taeyong glanced up to see Doctor Moon watching them.

“He seems to have attached to you just fine.” He smiled.

“Yeah, he has. Possibly too much.” Taeyong sighed. “He hardly lets anyone else hold him except for me. And he wants to be held, like, all the time.”

“That’s normal for his age and what he’s dealing with.” The doctor nods. “Toddlers tend to regress in age when they experience a large loss. They’ll pick up their old habits, like needing a pacifier or a comfort item—.”

“Sucking his thumb.” Taeyong’s eyes widened, and the doctor laughed.

“Exactly.” He agreed. “Trust me, Donghyuck is handling the situation about as well as he can be, considering the circumstances. Children are incredibly resilient, your nephew is no exception.”

“I’m so glad.” Taeyong sighed, melting into the couch a bit. “I want to do right by him. I have to.”

“That’s an interesting statement.” Doctor Moon glanced down at his notepad, writing something quickly. “How have you been handling this, Taeyong? It can’t be easy to uproot your entire life like this, on top of becoming the sole guardian of a young child.”

If Taeyong was honest, he had already forgotten this was a therapy session.

“Oh! Um, I guess I’m alright.” He flushed, glancing at his hands. “I don’t really have much time to think about how I’m doing. You know, taking over the guesthouse and taking care of Donghyuck… It’s a bit overwhelming, but I’m alright.”

“It sounds overwhelming.” The doctor nodded, jotting down one more thing before setting his notepad down. “I can’t even begin to imagine what your emotional state is.”

“I mean, it’s stable,” Taeyong scoffed, “it has to be. I can’t afford to break down, or like, lie in bed and cry all day, you know? Boa trusted me to do this, and I’m not going to let her down.”

“Why would she be let down by you processing this?” Taeyong paused, glancing at the doctor.

“Well… She wouldn’t be let down, I guess. She wasn’t like that. But if I have a meltdown and can’t take care of the guesthouse or, god forbid, Donghyuck… I can’t afford to lose the two things she loved most.” Taeyong shook his head, trying to rid himself of that ugly thought.

“I wouldn’t say ‘having a meltdown’ would cost you Donghyuck or the guesthouse.” Doctor Moon tilted his head, regarding Taeyong with a kindness that was almost uncomfortable. “You are doing a wonderful job of helping Donghyuck through the grieving process, but that doesn’t need to come at the cost of you refusing yourself the chance to grieve. You just suffered a significant loss, too.”

“To be completely transparent, doctor,” Taeyong sighed, glancing down at Donghyuck snuggled into his side, “I don’t really feel like I have the right to grieve. I put my sister through a lot. There’s a reason I’d never met Donghyuck before I became his guardian. I feel like… this is how I can make it up to her. It’s too late to apologize directly, to do what really needed to be done, but this is how I can make it right.”

“Can you explain what you mean?” Doctor Moon’s brow furrowed.

“It’s not an accident that Boa moved to the middle of nowhere, and it’s not an accident that I lived on the exact opposite side of the country.” Taeyong chuckled, but it tasted bitter as it left his mouth. “Our parents… they were harsh. Maybe harsher on me than her, for the most part. Boa was the perfect child. She was obedient, hardworking, _smart_. She was also a really kind older sister and we got along really well when we were young.

“But our parents had a lot of expectations that I just didn’t meet. I wasn’t really passionate about school, I was in dance club and I liked writing songs. I goofed around a lot. Boa was fantastic at diffusing the tension between me and my parents, she would always defend me, but when she went to college she couldn’t really protect me anymore. And I was a dumb enough kid that I resented her for it.” Taeyong sighed, glancing up at the ceiling before leveling his gaze on Doctor Moon once again. “When I told my parents I wanted to take a gap year before college, to figure out what I wanted to study, they told me to leave and never come back. I guess they thought they could rely on Boa to take care of them in their old age, instead. But then she got pregnant her final year of university and had to drop out. So she was disowned, too.”

“That sounds incredibly difficult for the both of you.” The doctor nodded, frowning.

“It was probably terrible for her.” Taeyong felt shame begin to sink its fingers into his shoulders, warmth flooding his chest and face. “We weren’t talking at the time, either. When I left home… I knew it was wrong, but I was so angry at her for being what I had to measure up to, for being so good at everything… I didn’t even know anything about Donghyuck until we started talking again, last year.”

“Mm.” Doctor Moon reached to his side table, grabbing the box of tissues and offering it to Taeyong. He hadn’t realized he was crying, and he nodded his thanks as he took one. “I can understand now why you’ve put this pressure on yourself to do right by your sister.”

“I can’t change the fact that I spent years being an idiot, and that I missed out on so much of Hyuck’s life.” Taeyong sniffed, holding back the ocean of anguish roaring inside of him, crashing against the inside of his ribs. “I can’t take back that I treated her terribly when she was nothing but kind toward me. But… I can take care of the things that mattered most to her. I can apologize in this way.”

“I admire you for your honesty, and for dealing with this situation with a lot of strength.” The doctor set his notebook aside, and a quick glance to the clock confirmed that their time was nearly up. Donghyuck, slumped into his side, had fallen asleep, his thumb in his mouth and headphones slipping off his head. “Can I ask you to do one thing for me this week?”

“What is it?” Taeyong asked, suspicious.

“Find yourself a moment alone, maybe after Donghyuck is asleep, and allow yourself to walk through everything you’re feeling.” Doctor Moon smiled. “I know it can be easy in the moment to push away all that we’re feeling, but this is an emotion too big not to be felt. You can’t reason with grief, you can only experience it. So, whether you meditate, or you go through her belongings, or you cry, just let yourself go through it until you’re done. And then keep doing it until it doesn’t feel like so much.”

“I don’t—.” Taeyong began.

“Just try?” The doctor asked. “If not for yourself, then for Donghyuck. Putting off only makes it build up, but dealing with it in small portions will make it easier for the both of you.”

Taeyong sighed.

“Okay.” He nodded. “I’ll try.”

“I look forward to hearing about it next week.” Doctor Moon smiled.

☀☀☀

Taeyong was coming to understand the play rug in the corner of Boa’s office. He was coming up on the end of his first week on the island, and he was already amazed that Boa had done all of this without help. The closest daycare facility on the island was a full thirty minute drive away, and considering Donghyuck’s heightened separation anxiety, he wasn’t exactly inclined to drop him off in an unfamiliar setting at the moment. It wasn’t so bad, the toddler played quietly, murmuring nonsense mostly to himself.

“Hello mister bear! Are you a doctor?” He moved his truck in time with his narration. “No thanks, I don’t like vegetables.”

The chime above the lobby entrance went off, and before Taeyong could even glance up, Donghyuck’s head whipped around, eyes widening as he clambered to his feet, stumbling to the door of the office. Taeyong’s brow furrowed in confusion, they weren’t expecting guests today.

“Jyaaaaah!” The baby squealed with glee. 

“Hey! Hold on a second!” Taeyong shoved back against the desk, the chair careening into the wall before he could get fully to his feet. He quickly ran after his nephew.

Donghyuck was already attached to the leg of an absolutely enormous man standing by the door, and Taeyong felt his heart stop. This was not a great way to appear professional to clients, and he was dismayed to realize his sister neglected to teach her son about the tenets of stranger danger.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” Taeyong lifted the top of the desk, stepping out onto the lobby floor. “He’s not normally this friendly with strangers, I don’t know what’s gotten into him—!”

“Hyuckie!” A deep voice laughed as the tall man leaned down to scoop Taeyong’s nephew into his arms and spin him around. Taeyong’s words died on his lips as Donghyuck laughed harder than he had in weeks. “I missed you so much, buddy!”

“Jyah!” Donghyuck replied, throwing his little arms around the man’s neck.

“It’s been a while, huh?” The man rubbed his back, and Taeyong noted that his hand was large enough to span the baby’s entire shoulder length. “I brought you something.” 

“Present?” Donghyuck perked up, leaning back to look in the man’s eye.

“It’s in my bag, but I need your help to get it out. Can you help me, buddy?” Donghyuck’s eyes were practically starry.

“I help!” He cried, kicking to be let down to the floor again. The man set him down, reaching to his side toward his bag.

“Do you remember where I went, Hyuckie?” The man asked. Donghyuck brightened.

“Work!” He yelled.

“You’re not wrong,” The man laughed, “but where was I working, bud?”

“Dunno.”

“That’s okay, it’s been a while.” He smiled, “I was in Africa, remember?”

“Af-ica!” Donghyuck imitated the man’s awestruck tone, big brown eyes trained on the stranger.

“I was following animals all day long, taking their pictures.” That explained the bag the man was digging through. Taeyong recognized the camera brand logo on the side of the bag as one of the models Ten had salivated over during his vlogging phase a few years back. If he wasn’t mistaken, those cameras cost about as much as a car. “I was following this family of elephants one day, and all of a sudden one of the babies came running toward me!”

“Wow!” Donghyuck gasped, completely enraptured. 

“I know!” A large hand tousled Donghyuck’s curls, reaching back down into the bag, “He tumbled right down into my camera bag, and I told him to go back to his family, but he saw your picture in my wallet and _insisted_ that I bring him back to meet you.”

“He’s _here_?” Donghyuck glanced around the lobby with sudden uncertainness.

“He’s right here, Hyuckie.” The man finally pulled a fuzzy stuffed elephant out of his bag, holding it out toward Donghyuck. The toddler squealed, grabbing the stuffed animal and squishing it in an embrace so crushing Taeyong made a mental note that pets were not a great idea until the kid remembered to be gentle with cute things.

“Uncle Yong!” Donghyuck shouted gleefully, “ _Look!_ ”

“I see.” Taeyong stepped away from where he had been leaning against the desk, observing. “What are you going to name him?”

“Hmm.” Donghyuck’s brow creased, his tongue poking out from his mouth as he thought. “I dunno yet.”

“Well, why don’t you say thank you while you think about it?” Taeyong prompted, turning the child back around, glancing at the stranger. He was shocked to find the other’s eyes already on him. It was almost embarrassing how quickly his stomach erupted into butterflies.

“Thank you!” Their eye contact was broken as Donghyuck took off, launching himself at the taller man once again.

“You are so welcome, little duck!” He laughed, releasing the squirming toddler.

“You need to meet everybody!” Donghyuck said, presumably to the elephant, as he ran back toward the door to Boa’s apartment. “We’re a family! That means we don’t leave, okay?”

The tall man cleared his throat, startling Taeyong. He tore his eyes away from his nephew, gaze landing once again on the stupidly handsome stranger.

“You must be Boa’s brother.” He smiled, proffering a hand. Taeyong shook it, hoping to whatever deities were out there that his palms weren’t sweaty. “I recognize you from the photo on her fridge. She talks about you quite a bit. I’m Johnny, I live in the next house over.”

“Oh!” Taeyong recalled the large house he could see from the beach, peering down at the water. It couldn’t be seen from the guesthouse, there was plenty of lush vegetation between the two properties, but Taeyong had assumed it was another guesthouse. The place was huge for just one person. “Of course! It’s so nice to meet you.”

“I guess she hasn’t bragged about me half as much as she does you.” Johnny laughed, folding his arms. “Although she didn’t mention you would be visiting. She would have gabbed my ear off about it before I left. Did you decide to just come for a spontaneous visit, then?”

Taeyong felt his heart sink, watching the man’s smile fade the longer he failed to answer.

“What’s wrong?” Worry colored Johnny’s tone as he took a step closer. “Is Boa alright?”

“Oh, god, you don’t know.” Taeyong took a deep breath, “No. No, she isn’t. Johnny, I’m so sorry. I’m not sure how close you were with my sister—.”

“ _Were_?” 

“She died. She got in a car accident.” The words felt as if they were tearing him apart as they left his mouth. “She left me as Donghyuck’s guardian in her will. I’m sorry, I thought everyone around here knew. They all knew when I showed up.”

“Oh, god.” Johnny’s face was pale, staring at Taeyong in abject horror, “I’m… I’m so sorry, I— there wasn’t cell service. I only left for a few weeks, normally I check in with her. I help with the kid, I’m— oh my god.”

“I’m so sorry you had to find out this way.” Taeyong isn’t sure what to do with the absolutely enormous man who is staring tearily at his sister’s front door. Hell, he’s really not even that good at comforting Ten when he’s upset. “ Were you… Were you close?”

“Yeah, she’s like… _was_ like a big sis—” They both froze. 

The moment they unfroze, things weren’t any less awkward or terrible.

“I’m so sorry—!” Johny began, rubbing a palm over his face.

“Please, no it’s fine—!” Taeyong rushed to assure him.

“—I’m just being so insensitive, you must be—?”

“—really that’s how she was, it’s—”

“Johnny?” Donghyuck’s tiny voice silenced them both instantly. Taeyong realized now that the word the toddler had been trying to say was the other man’s name. _Jyah_.

“What’s up buddy?” Johnny quickly swiped a hand over his eyes, turning to smile at Donghyuck.

“Uncle Yong telled you about my mommy?” Donghyuck had both arms wrapped around the stuffed elephant, holding the toy to his chest.

“Yeah, he did.” Johnny’s voice became rough with sorrow, the emotion rubbing at the still-open wound in Taeyong’s own chest. “I’m sorry, Hyuckie.”

“S’okay.” The stuffed elephant was carefully deposited on an armchair by the window, Donghyuck becoming a blur of motion as he raced to cling onto Johnny’s leg. “Mister Taeil told me sometimes you need to be sad. We were playing together and I was crying because I missed my momma, but it was okay because feeling sad isn’t bad.”

“No, it’s not.” Taeyong answered when Johnny’s silence pulled a little too long.

“And when you’re sad,” Donghyuck looked up at Johnny with his big brown eyes, just as earnest and warm as his mother’s, “you can ask for a hug ‘til you’re not sad anymore.”

Taeyong would always wonder how Johnny, already crying, kept from absolutely ugly-sobbing in the moment, but he held it together as he scooped Donghyuck into his arms.

“Can I have a hug until I’m not sad anymore?” His voice broke as chubby hands came to wipe away his tears. In answer, Donghyuck threw his arms around Johnny’s neck, burying his face into the man’s shoulder.

They stood there for a moment like that, Taeyong averting his eyes to allow them some privacy. They were both fixtures in his sister’s world, two pieces of a puzzle he was putting together without having seen the full picture before. With a sinking feeling of sadness, Taeyong wondered if Johnny filled the role he had left in his sister’s life, and in the life of her son.

He watched the ocean through the window for a while, until Johnny spoke.

“I should let you two get back to your day.” Johnny sniffled, “Thank you for comforting me, little duck.”

“Why don’t you stay?” Taeyong blurted out. His face probably matched the shock he could see in Johnny’s. “I can, um, make tea. Or you can just stick around, if you don’t like tea. I just know… being alone right now might not be the best. And Donghyuck clearly missed you.”

“I don’t drink tea.” Taeyong’s heart sunk as Johnny stood to his feet, offering him a smile. “But I wouldn’t mind a cup of coffee, if you have the stuff for it.”

And so, Taeyong found himself rifling through his sister’s cupboards. There was a french press and grinder in the cabinet next to the sink, along with a bag of whole coffee beans in an airtight container and a mug with a J on it.

Clearly, Johnny was not the stranger in this apartment.

“I can make it, if you don’t know how.” Johnny materialized beside him, as if Taeyong’s thoughts had summoned him. Donghyuck was perched on his shoulders, his little fingers tangled in Johnny’s styled brown hair.

“I feel bad,” Taeyong stepped away from the coffee equipment, reaching up to take Donghyuck from his place on the taller’s shoulders, “I invited you over and now you have to make your own coffee.”

“Boa didn’t know how to make it either,” Johnny smiled, the gesture filled with sadness, “she just kept it around because I was here all the time.”

“Johnny and mommy are bestest friends, like,” Donghyuck paused, a yawn breaking his sentence, “like me and Mak.”

“I’m going to set him down for a nap.” Taeyong whispered to Johnny. “It’ll only take a second. Um. You’ll still be here?”

“If you’re not kicking me out, yeah.” Johnny nodded, gesturing to the coffee. “Want a cup?”

“If you don’t mind.” Taeyong stepped back, shuffling his way toward Donghyuck’s room. The toddler, normally prone to protest nap time, was already drifting to sleep on his shoulder. “Say goodnight to Johnny, Hyuck.”

“Nuh-night.” Donghyuck sighed. Johnny smiled, darting forward to plant a kiss on Donghyuck’s forehead.

“Goodnight, sunshine.” Taeyong’s eyes widened as his nickname for the toddler came out of the other’s mouth. Before he could process the strange aura of domesticity surrounding them, he fled to the bedroom. He took a deep breath as he laid Donghyuck in his crib.

“Stay?” Donghyuck’s eyes fluttered, exhaustion clearly taking over.

“Always.” Taeyong murmured, rubbing Donghyuck’s tummy as he drifted off. He hummed an old song, one that Boa used to sing to him as a child. It only took Donghyuck a few moments to drop off, relaxing as sleep took over his little body.

Gently, Taeyong took the teddy bear Ten had given him and tucked it under the toddler’s arm.

The crib was starting to get a little small for the kid, Taeyong noticed. It wouldn’t be long before Donghyuck was going to need a bed. He sighed, watching the slow rise and fall of the toddler’s chest as he slept.

He thought back to what Doctor Moon had said, about dealing with his own hurt in small portions. The consequences of letting it build up, the reality that, in trying to protect Donghyuck, he might end up hurting him… Taeyong leaned down, leaving a kiss on his nephew’s chubby cheek.

Nothing was going to hurt Donghyuck again, if he could help it.

Johnny was sitting on the couch when he finally returned. There was a steaming mug of black coffee in his hands, and he smiled sheepishly toward Taeyong. He gestured toward the cup on the coffee table as Taeyong plopped down on the other side of the couch.

“I added cream and sugar, like how she liked it.” He said apologetically as Taeyong took a sip. “If you don’t like it, I’ll make more.”

“It’s perfect.” Taeyong blinked, surprised. Johnny laughed.

“You’re so similar, you and her.” Johnny shook his head, looking at Taeyong with a strange expression on his face. “It’s uncanny.”

“Well, we share DNA, so it makes sense.” Taeyong nods, taking another sip of his drink. “She also practically raised me.”

“She had mentioned that.” Johnny nodded.

“Right,” Taeyong looked down at his mug, resting on his thigh, “you were close. How did you guys meet?”

“I moved here just after she had the kid.” Johnny smiled wistfully. “This place is completely different from how it looked three years ago, by the way. I’m not sure how much she told you about it, but she bought it through an estate auction. The last owner let it fall by the wayside, she fixed it up. It cost her every penny she had to her name, and a hefty loan from the bank, but she made it happen.”

“That sounds like her.” Taeyong laughed in spite of the tightness constricting his throat.

“She’s my hero.” He didn’t miss the way Johnny left it in the present-tense.

“Mine, too.” He nodded.

“She showed up at my door, the day after I moved in.” Johnny slouched down into the couch, stretching his long legs under the coffee table. “She had Donghyuck strapped into a baby carrier on her chest, and she was wielding this loaf of banana bread as a moving-in gift. I wasn’t really sure how to say no when she asked to come in, but I’m glad I let her.”

“Oh, god.” Taeyong laughed. “She totally accosted you.”

“I mean, yes.” Johnny chuckled. “It was good for me, meeting her. I hope you know I mean you no disrespect when I say she was like an older sister. Truly. I know it’s not the same… but she filled that role in my life. Her and Hyuck were my family out here.”

“I understand that.” Taeyong chewed his lip. “That’s how my sister was. She was never shy about loving people, and people loved her back for it. I’m grateful that you could be there for her… when I wasn’t.”

Something about his words caught Johnny’s attention. He sat up, looking Taeyong in the eyes.

“She adored you.” He stated, leaving no room for arguing. “I hope you know that. She always talked about you, how Donghyuck reminded her so much of you. She hoped he would grow up to be like you, too.”

“She told you about our family, didn’t she?” Taeyong raised an eyebrow. At Johnny’s affirmative nod, he continued. “I really don’t think I deserve the things she’s told you about me. I spent a lot of time being angry at her, when I was just really mad at myself for not being like her.”

“But she understood, she didn’t blame you.” Johnny leaned forward.

“Maybe she should have.” He wasn’t sure why he was sharing this much with Johnny. Maybe it was the mania of spending the better part of his week with only a toddler for company. Maybe it was the way Johnny felt like a connection to his sister. Either way, he knew it was inappropriate. “I’m sorry. You lost her, too. You don’t need—.”

“It’s okay.” Johnny shook his head, placing a hand on Taeyong’s knee. “I’m just telling you what she told me. You can feel however you want about it.”

“This is probably weird.” Taeyong sighed. “We don’t actually know each other, but we’re having, like, a more-than-acquaintances conversation.”

“Do you feel weird about it?” Johnny asked. Taeyong snorted.

“No.” He grinned.

“I don’t feel weird about it, either.” The taller man shrugged, setting an empty mug on the coffee table. “It’s only weird if you feel like it is.”

“Now _you_ sound like her.” Taeyong rolled his eyes. Johnny laughed.

“I’ll take it as a compliment.”

The following lull wasn’t uncomfortable. It was so strange. This moment was raw, too emotionally charged for two people who had never met before that afternoon, and yet, Taeyong didn’t feel the crawling shame of oversharing. He could see why his sister would cling to Johnny. He was the kind of person who would listen to you without judgment, offer honest advice with a rare sort of kindness.

“Well,” Johnny finally sighed, stretching, “thank you for reminiscing with me. You were right, being alone wouldn’t have been good for me.”

“Thanks for making the coffee.” Taeyong stood, gathering the mugs. “Donghyuck was really happy to see you.”

“I’m always happy to see him.” Johnny smiled, sliding his shoes on by the door before pausing. “Would it be alright if I got your phone number? If you ever need someone to watch him last second, or you want to hang out again. Or to talk.”

“Yeah!” Taeyong blinked, feeling warmth spread across his face. _Not the time_ , he scolded himself internally. Johnny pulled out his phone, listening and nodding along as Taeyong rattled off his number.

“Got it.” Johnny nodded, shooting Taeyong another smile. “It was great talking with you.”

“Same to you.” Taeyong watched as Johnny swung open the door. As he stepped over the threshold, he tossed a parting word over his shoulder.

“You know, she always said I would get along well with her kid brother,” Johnny said, “and she wasn’t often wrong. See you around, Taeyong.”

“See you.” He replied as the door closed. As he turned to the kitchen, he spared a glance toward her bedroom door.

 _Not today_ , he decided, shuffling into the kitchen. He’d had his small portion of grief for the day.

☀☀☀

Taeyong was dashing around, trying to find a clean Paw Patrol shirt for a whining Donghyuck when the ringing of his cell phone cut through the chaos.

“Donghyuck, please quiet down for a second, I’m doing my best.” He huffed, setting the toddler on the couch as he flailed around in a pair of pants and not much else. Some part of Taeyong had expected to see Johnny’s name on the caller ID.

After their impromptu sharing session the other day, Johnny had simply texted him to let him know who it was, and they hadn’t spoken much beyond that. Taeyong was personally too embarrassed to say anything, not used to spilling his guts out to total strangers.

“Uncle Yong!” Taeyong snapped back to the present as Donghyuck neared tantrum mode. He glanced down at the phone in his hand, sliding to answer when he saw who it was.

“Lee Taeyong, I am coming down there and I am injecting a tracker into you by force.” Came the murderous voice.

“Hi Tennie.” He sighed as Donghyuck let loose a piercing scream.

“Holy shit,” Ten paused his rampage, hearing the toddler’s meltdown, “Okay, your scolding can wait, but rest assured it’s coming. What’s happening over there?”

“Donghyuck needs to wear a Paw Patrol shirt, or else he’s going to actually freak out.” Taeyong winced as Donghyuck wailed loudly, writhing around on the couch. “But none of them are clean.”

“It sounds like he’s already freaking out, TY.” Ten’s frown was audible. “Just put him in a kinda-clean one.”

“I’ve only been a guardian for less than a month, I’m not trying to be terrible at it already.” He huffed, ducking into Donghyuck’s room to go through the dresser one more time. “There has to be a clean one somewhere.”

“Are his other shirts covered in gross stuff?” Ten asked.

“No.”

“Then put him in one of those.” Ten huffed. “Hell, I’m an adult and I recycle clothes. Nobody will bat an eye if a kid does, too.”

“He has playgroup today.” Taeyong leans over the dresser, putting his face in his unoccupied hand. “I met the couple who’s hosting this week, and they’re really cool, but what if the other parents are, like, judgy?”

“Yeah, what if they think less of you for adopting your orphan nephew and taking over your sister’s business, uprooting your entire life so he can have a sense of normalcy.” Ten replied drily.

“ _Ten_.” Taeyong whined.

“TY, you already said it yourself.” Ten huffed an affectionate sight. “You haven’t been doing this long. They all understand what it’s like to be a new parent. They won’t judge you for a shirt that the tike wore once.”

“I guess.” He sighed, shuffling to the laundry basket and pulling out the shirt Donghyuck wore two days prior.

“Great, now that that’s sorted,” Ten carried on cheerfully, “why the fuck have you not been calling me, as per our agreement, mister Lee?”

“I’m sorry,” Taeyong frowned, switching to speaker phone as he entered the living room again. Donghyuck was still on the couch, arms folded over his chest as he glared at his uncle. The stormy expression cleared when he saw the smiling face of Rubble the dog emblazoned across the chest of the shirt, “if I’m completely honest, I forgot.”

“You wound me.” Ten cried, melodramatic. “You spend years of your life loving and caring for a man only for him to up and leave you, and then not do the one thing he promised to do.”

“I apologized!” Taeyong huffed, setting the phone on the couch and wrestling Donghyuck into his shirt. “It’s been busier than I expected, Tennie. Believe it or not, I have no idea how to parent or run a business, let alone at the same time.”

“Were you really that busy? Or were you doing the thing where you don’t want me to read you like a book?” Taeyong froze. Donghyuck whined, his head only halfway through the shirt collar. “Your silence speaks volumes.”

“I’ll be better about calling you, alright?” Taeyong planted an apologetic kiss on Donghyuck’s forehead. “I mean it.”

“Good,” Ten preened, “I can tell you're busy so please give me a thorough but brief rundown of your week. How’s the kid?”

“Week was the same old, you already heard about me meeting the playgroup parents. Apparently Boa was already part of it. We already had our first session with the therapist, Donghyuck loves him. Boa’s best friend came back in town—.”

“Oh my god.” Ten gasped.

“What?” Taeyong jumped. Donghyuck was impatiently shoving his shoes on in the entry, making a very Boa-esque ‘hurry up’ gesture in his uncle’s direction. Taeyong was beginning to regret telling him that he would be seeing his friends today.

“He’s _hot_ , isn’t he?” Taeyong doesn’t need to see his best friend to know he has that dumb smile on his face. The one that cats get when they’ve pinned their prey.

“I didn’t say it was a he.” He spat, putting on his own shoes and grabbing his keys and wallet. 

“You’re not denying the hotness.” Ten laughed.

“How did you know?” He whined. Donghyuck, stuffed elephant in his arms, barreled through the lobby, charging toward the door.

“I consider myself a top scholar of Lee Taeyong studies.” His best friend sighed. Taeyong locked the front door of the guesthouse before unlocking the car, opening the back seat for Donghyuck. The toddler climbed in, trying to buckle himself unsuccessfully. Taeyong batted his hands away gently, securing his phone between his shoulder and head.

“It’s not like I’m interested right now.” Taeyong grumbled, buckling Donghyuck successfully before sliding in the front seat himself. “Like, what if it’s just a trauma bond or something?”

“I’m not on speaker right now?”

“No, why—?”

“If you’re worried about it being a trauma bond, it’s not a fucking trauma bond.” Ten scolded him. “Plus, if I know anything about you, it’s not like he cracked your little head open like a walnut and knows all your secrets now.”

“Actually…” Taeyong started up the car, the bluetooth connecting seconds later.

“Holy shit!” Ten’s voice boomed through the speaker.

“Speaker! You’re on speaker!” Taeyong yelled, turning to a very wide-eyed Donghyuck in the back seat. “You don’t ever say that, you hear me?”

“Okay.” Donghyuck nodded, patting his elephant. “We go Mak’s house now?”

“Yeah, sunshine.” He huffed. “Seriously, Ten?”

“You totally opened up to this guy!” Ten cackled.

“I mean, I may have been more open than I would be with someone otherwise.” Taeyong cleared his throat, backing out of his spot on the side of the guesthouse and heading toward the main road. “I think it’s the island atmosphere. You’re more inclined to trust people when you’re in a warm climate.”

“That sounds like a lie, but then again, you’re going over to a stranger’s house, so it’s entirely possible.” He could almost picture Ten’s shrug. “I’m glad you’ve got some people down there, though. It’s probably making this transition a little easier for both of you.”

“Yeah, it is.” Taeyong’s eyes darted to the rearview mirror. Donghyuck was holding his elephant up so it could see out the window. “Although I keep forgetting it’s only new for me. This is his life I’m fitting myself into.”

“Well, don’t forget, if you ever need I’m always here. You can always come back.” Ten sounded wistful, and Taeyong couldn’t hold back a snort.

“You found a new roommate.” Taeyong accused. Ten took a guilty pause.

“Someone is interested, but it’s not official yet!” He pouted as Taeyong laughed. “Even if I get a new roommate, you’re my, I don’t know… heart mate?”

“Oh my god.”

“You’re my best friend, you dummy.” Ten groaned. “I would kick any roommate out in a heartbeat if you said you wanted to come back.”

“I’ll be sure to tell them that as soon as I come to visit.” Taeyong laughed. He made a turn into a neighborhood lined with pastel beach homes. “We’re almost there.”

“I would complain about having more to talk about, but I know you will be calling me soon.” Ten’s positivity was lined with a light tone of threat. Like a kirby plush holding a knife.

“Of course,” Taeyong conceded, “Maybe not tomorrow night, but soon.”

“Have fun at playgroup, kiddo!” Ten sighed.

“Bye!” Donghyuck yelled, turning to Taeyong. “Who’s that?”

“He’s already forgotten me.” Ten whined.

“He’ll have a chance to get reacquainted when you come to visit in a couple weeks.” Taeyong laughed. “Talk to you later Tennie.” 

Yuta and Doyoung’s home was a light blue with white shutters, and as Taeyong pulled to the curb, he noticed with dismay that his was somewhat more… weathered than the others.

Donghyuck was wiggling with excitement as he ran up the walk, motioning for Taeyong to lift him up when he reached the door. Obligingly, Taeyong hoisted the toddler into his arms. Donghyuck darted forward to ring the bell.

From inside, Mark screamed something that could be interpreted as an attempt at Donghyuck’s name. The door swung open a few seconds later to reveal Doyoung, balancing Jisung on his hip.

“Hey! Come in!” He stepped in, motioning Taeyong through the door. As he shut the door behind him, Mark came barreling around the corner with another little boy in tow. Donghyuck immediately began squirming until Taeyong put him down.

“Huckie!” Mark cried, wrapping his arms around his best friend. The other little boy, the one Taeyong didn’t recognize, turned it into a group hug.

“Let him take his shoes off, guys.” Doyoung laughed, rubbing his son’s back. “Sorry, they’re excited.”

“I can tell.” Taeyong chuckled, toeing off his own shoes. Once Mark and the other little boy released his nephew, they helped him take off his shoes, as well.

“Jaemin?” A beautiful woman, not much older than Taeyong and Doyoung, poked her head around the corner. “Oh! There you are, bunny.”

“Mama!” The little boy holding Donghyuck’s ankle jumped up, running to his mother.

“Joohyun, this is Taeyong, Donghyuck’s uncle.” Doyoung nodded. “Taeyong, this is Bae Joohyun, and this is Jaeminnie.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Taeyong.” Joohyun smiled. She seemed reserved, but kind. Her son, on the other hand, appeared to be a wellspring of unbridled affection.

“I’m Jaemin!” The toddler smiled brightly. “Can Huckie come play with us please?” Donghyuck’s wide, unsure eyes turned to Taeyong.

“Of course he can!” Taeyong nodded, leaning down to plant a kiss on Donghyuck’s head, whispering in his ear, “I’ll be with the grown ups.”

“Okay.” Donghyuck didn’t quite understand how to whisper, but he tried. “You’re stayin’.” It wasn’t really a question anymore, just a reassurance.

“I’m staying.” He patted the toddler on the bum, sending him on his way. The trio toddled out of sight soon after. As he stood to his feet, Doyoung rolled his neck, groaning.

“Good lord, children are a handful.” He sighed, holding out Jisung. “Mind taking him for a second?”

“Oh! Uh, sure.” Taeyong mumbled as the baby was pushed into his arms. Jisung, to his credit, merely stared up at Taeyong with wonder for a few moments, before breaking into a gummy smile.

“Everyone’s in the living room, this way.” Doyoung pulled him through a hallway filled with professional photos of their family, past a gorgeous kitchen, and into a large living area. There, Yuta was on the couch talking to an older man, Joohyun smiling as Doyoung’s husband told an animated story. 

Doyoung motioned for Taeyong to take a seat, and he gratefully lowered himself into a loveseat by the window. Doyoung plopped down next to him, leaning forward to spear a piece of watermelon from the fruit tray on the coffee table.

“How are you settling in?” Doyoung asked, popping the watermelon cube into his mouth before Jisung’s little hand could grab it. 

“It’s been alright.” Taeyong nodded, placing his finger in the middle of Jisung’s open palm. Reflexively, the baby’s hand wrapped around the digit, waving it around as he flailed. Doyoung’s eyes scrunched as he smiled, tickling his son’s belly.

“We were serious when we said we’re here for you, you know.” The earnest tone in Doyoung’s voice had Taeyong blushing. “Parenting is kind of a clusterfluff.”

“I’m sorry?” Taeyong coughed to cover a laugh.

“Yuta and I swear like sailors.” Doyoung sighed, reaching over to rub Jisung’s smooth little baby head. “We had to break the habit, Mark is like a tape recorder. So instead of saying the actual word, we replace it.”

“I see.” Taeyong made a mental note to try that out.

“As I was saying,” Doyoung sent him a playful glare, “parenting is intimidating when you’re prepared. Everyone lies when they tell you it comes naturally.”

“That’s true.” Joohyun snorted, taking a long sip of wine. Taeyong hadn’t realized, but everyone else had tuned into their conversation.

“It’s good to see you again, Taeyong.” Yuta smiled brightly, gesturing to the man beside him. “Yixing, this is Boa’s brother, Taeyong. He’s Donghyuck’s guardian now.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” The other man smiled, flashing his prominent dimples. “I’m Chenle and Renjun’s dad.”

“How did you guys all meet?” Taeyong asked, glancing around the circle.

Yixing apparently worked with Yuta, as did Seulgi, Irene’s wife. Boa and Doyoung had met at the beach when Mark was about a year old and Jeno and Donghyuck were still babies. It had started with just Joohyun and Doyoung hanging out, socializing their children, but their circle grew, and they were happier for it.

“Boa was one of the first people who met Jisung after he was born.” Doyoung smiled fondly, leaning back in the chair. Jisung was sleeping soundly on his chest. “She volunteered to watch Jeno and Mark for us when we went to the hospital to pick him up. His birth mom lives on the peninsula and she went into labor before her due date, so we had to race to catch the last ferry. But she was down here in a flash when we called her.”

“And she helped out a lot with my boys, after my wife passed.” Yixing nodded. “She even introduced me to the boys’ nanny, Jaehyun.”

“We’re all very sorry for your loss.” Joohyun said in her quiet way. “Truly. Your sister was there for all of us when we needed her.”

“It’s probably kind of weird to be sitting in a circle of complete strangers who keep saying how much they want to help you, but we do.” Yuta speared a watermelon cube, popping it in his mouth. “Not just for her, or Donghyuck either. We’re here for _you_ , if you ever need it.”

“That’s very kind.” Taeyong offered a smile to each person in turn, and he realized that, for the first time in a while, it wasn’t outright painful to talk about his sister. “I really don’t have any idea what I’m doing, although I’m sure that’s pretty obvious.”

“Not at all,” Yixing laughed, “at least he’s potty trained. Navigating that alone is a special kind of hell, I’m not looking forward to it with Chenle.”

At the mention of the toddler’s name, the children came tumbling into the living room, falling on the fruit tray as they talked over one another. Even Chenle, a little over a year old, was babbling along, despite lacking the language skills necessary to be a part of the conversation.

“And just like that,” Doyoung sighed, “the wolves descend.”

Taeyong felt a laugh bubble over his lips, leaning back into the couch. From the coffee table, Donghyuck looked up at him, his already chubby cheeks inflated with the watermelon he was shoving in his mouth. With a rush of affection, he realized that maybe it wouldn’t have to just be the two of them, after all.

☀☀☀

Taeyong never considered himself to be the brightest person, but even he could see how Johnny came to be a permanent fixture in the life of his sister and nephew.

The morning after playgroup, he had plopped down in their booth at the diner. Taeyong didn’t have a real excuse to be there, he had resorted to the restaurant as a desperate attempt not to cook. Donghyuck, of course, was thrilled at the prospect of a serving of choco pancakes.

“Good morning.” Johnny had chirped. Jungwoo wordlessly came by with a mug of coffee for him, and a nod as the elder requested his usual.

“Hey!” Taeyong smiled.

“Hi Johnny!” Donghyuck beamed, taking a breath before launching into a story. “I played with Mak and Nono and Jaemin and Injun and Chenle and Jisung—!”

“Woah, the whole crew, huh?” Johnny laughed, taking a sip from his mug.

“Yeah!” Donghyuck cheered before taking a pause. “What’s that?”

“A crew,” Johnny smiled, “it’s a group of friends.”

Taeyong kind of admired the way Johnny talked to Donghyuck as if he were an equal, rather than a toddler. He was sure his nephew would come to value that trait later in his life. As for the present, however, Donghyuck seemed to understand approximately forty percent of what Johnny was saying to him.

“Okay.” He nodded, continuing to engage Johnny in a story about how they saved elephant from Mark’s lion plushie. Johnny made appropriate ‘ooh’s and ‘ah’s at the right time, peppering in a few clarifying questions about the plot. When Donghyuck had said his piece, Johnny turned his attention to Taeyong.

“Sounds like you both had an interesting day.” Johnny smiled. Taeyong did his best not to think about Ten’s comment on his so-called hotness.

“We did,” Taeyong stirred his own coffee, “Doyoung and Yuta are very kind, if a bit intense.” Johnny laughed.

“You should see Doyoung when he’s mad.” The twinkle of mischief in his eye was new to Taeyong, but not unwelcome. “He has opinions on pretty much anything, it’s fun to rile him up a bit.”

“I didn’t know you knew them?” Taeyong blinked. Johnny just smirked.

“It’s an island, everyone knows everyone.” He chuckled. “I’m well acquainted with Doyoung and Yuta/”

“I get the feeling that you enjoy pissing Doyoung off.” Taeyong grinned. Jungwoo appeared again, sliding a plate of pancakes in front of Johnny.

“I do.” Johnny agreed unabashedly. 

It was a pleasant meal. Johnny managed to sneak in and pay the bill before Taeyong could stop him, and they parted ways after finishing.

The next day, he was standing in the cereal aisle, Donghyuck chattering happily to his bear, when he heard the clash of cart against cart.

“Oof!” Donghyuck exclaimed, turning around. Taeyong whipped around as well, only to see a sheepish Johnny standing behind his own cart.

“I’m sorry, little duck.” He winced, coming around to scoop Donghyuck out of the basket. “I didn’t mean to jostle you that hard. Are you okay?”

“Be careful!” Donghyuck scolded with all the indignation his three-year-old body could muster. “You coulda had an accident!”

“He’s right.” Taeyong nodded sagely, earning a dramatic eye roll from Johnny.

“Please forgive me?” Johnny whined, pouting at Donghyuck.

“Mmkay.” Donghyuck patted Johnny’s cheek, his furrowed brow quickly replaced with his usual sunny demeanor.

“Oh, thank you!” Johnny nuzzled into the baby’s hand, planting a sonorous kiss on his palm. Donghyuck squealed, pealing laughter echoing in the grocery store.

“Fancy seeing you here, of all places,” Taeyong smiled, tossing a box of Cheerios into the cart, “the only grocery store around for miles.”

“Tired of the rural life already, city boy?” Johnny laughed as he set Donghyuck back in the cart. 

“Hardly.” Taeyong snorted. “I don’t think there will ever be a day I get bored of the view over the ocean.”

“Tell me about it.” Johnny sighed, plucking a box of marshmallow cereal off the shelf and putting it in his own cart.

They carried out their shopping companionably, and parted ways in the parking lot. The next morning, Johnny showed up at the guesthouse.

“Hey.” Taeyong nearly jumped out of his skin as Johnny came sauntering into the office. Donghyuck jumped to his feet, grabbing Johnny’s hand and yanking him to the rug.

“Hi.” Taeyong clutched his chest, staring at the taller man warily. Johnny simply offered him a serene smile. “What’s up?”

“I was bored, wanted to see what you guys were up to.” Johnny shrugged, diverting his full attention to Donghyuck. The toddler shoved his plush elephant into the adult’s arms, assigning himself the bear.

“You can be the bad guy.” Donghyuck instructed.

“Yes, sir.” Johnny nodded seriously, darting a glance toward Taeyong. “Want me to take him to the lobby?”

“Are you offering me free childcare?” Taeyong blinked.

“I guess.” Johnny nodded.

“Donghyuck, be a good listener for Johnny, okay?” Taeyong instructed, turning back to Johnny. “I owe you my life.”

“It’s what I do.” Johnny grinned, scooping Donghyuck and charging out the door.

Taeyong spent his newfound alone time going over all the paperwork that is needed to run a business, looking at previous years budgets and records to figure out how to write his own. Just as he was getting ready to pass out face-down on the keyboard, Johnny reappeared.

“Sorry, I know you’re busy,” Johnny winced, hovering in the doorway to the office, “the kid’s about to go down for a nap, but he wants you.”

“Shit, it’s already that late?” Taeyong shot up, glancing at the clock. “Did you feed him lunch?”

“Yeah, I took the liberty of making some fried rice.” Johnny nodded. “There’s some leftover if you’re interested.”

Taeyong, in the middle of coming around the desk, paused. He regarded the taller man, who blinked at him with confusion.

Somehow, along the way of settling down in this town and allowing himself to get acquainted with the locals, Taeyong was finding himself in increasingly domestic scenarios with the hot guy who happened to be his late sister’s best friend.

Taeyong squinted at Johnny, wondering exactly when his life became a drama.

“Are you okay?” Johnny asked, pulling Taeyong from his math-induced haze. “We have an eye doctor in town, if you need—?”

“Sorry,” Taeyong shook his head, laughing, “I might need a nap myself.”

“Child, then food, then nap.” Johnny bumped his shoulder affectionately as they made their way to the apartment. Taeyong resolutely ignored the way his chest swelled with affection at the gesture. Johnny wound up staying until after dinner, chatting with Taeyong about absolutely anything and everything until they were both too tired to continue. They got along well.

Suspiciously well.

He confessed his strange familiarity with Johnny to his therapist.

“It’s so wonderful that you’re making connections.” Taeil smiled, glancing up from his notes. “Why are you concerned?”

“Because!” Taeyong sighed, leaning back in the chair. He had grown more comfortable in their sessions, which was also alarming for him. “Trusting people usually doesn’t get me places. It’s, like, culture shock or something!”

“Culture shock wears off.” The doctor shrugged.

“I’m just worried that I’ve somehow trauma bonded with him,” Taeyong sighed, “like, maybe we got too deep too fast and now I think I can rely on him because he shared his pain with me, and I shared mine with him, and we comforted each other.”

“Do you only talk about grief?”

“No.”

“Is it really intense to be around him.”

“No, it’s actually kind of relaxing.”

“Does he keep his promises?”

“Yeah, he does.” Taeyong nodded.

“That’s not a trauma bond,” Doctor Moon shook his head, “that’s just friendship.”

“It’s _weird_.” He insisted. Donghyuck glanced up at him, breaking his Paw Patrol-induced focus on his tablet. 

“Well,” Taeil sniffed, “there’s no diagnosis for that. So my prescription is… enjoy it.”

It was with sinking resignation that Taeyong realized that, no matter how he felt about it, Johnny was inextricably a part of his life, when he walked into Yixing’s home for playgroup and saw Johnny on the couch next to a younger man he could only assume to be Renjun and Chenle’s nanny, Jaehyun.

“I tag along sometimes,” Johnny explained as Taeyong sank into the couch beside him, “when I’m in town.”

“Do you just really like kids?” Taeyong quirked a brow.

“Yeah,” he shrugged, smiling, “but that’s mostly because everyone who lives here is either retired or has kids, and I prefer making friends with people my age who are parents over hanging out with the elderly.”

“Same difference.” Jaehyun snickered, earning an elbow to the side from Doyoung.

“Johnny!” Mark clambered into his lap, redirecting the elder’s attention. “Can you make me fly?”

“Say please.” Doyoung prompted, not even glancing up from his book.

“Please?” Mark tacked on, cutely.

“Of course, super cub!” Johnny grinned, hoisting Mark up into the air and running him around the living room. The kids followed behind him, trailing him like a comet’s tail, begging to go next. Jisung crawled after them, cooing happily.

Yixing was away on a business trip, and Yuta had a case he was busy working on, but those who were available gathered for playgroup anyway.

“They always sleep better after they tire each other out.” Jaehyun smiled, watching as the kids dogpiled on Johnny. “That includes him, by the way.”

“I hope you realize you’ve adopted your sister’s other child.” Doyoung snorted, watching Johnny with a warmth in his eyes.

“Yeah, he’s been around a lot since he got back,” Taeyong laughed, “but he’s pretty good at earning his keep, so I don’t mind too much.”

“Well,” Doyoung side-eyed him, “he is a sucker for a pretty face.”

“What?” Taeyong blinked. Joohyun gently elbowed Doyoung.

“Don’t tease him.” She chided him, smiling at Taeyong. 

“I’m just saying, it wouldn’t be surprising if we see Taeyong in his portfolio soon.” Doyoung snickered.

“I’m confused.” Taeyong pouted.

“Johnny’s a photographer.” Jaehyun shrugged.

“I know that.” He rolled his eyes. “Doesn’t he, like, freelance?”

“Yeah, but not in the way you’d think.” Doyoung plucked a cracker from their snack tray of the week, chewing it thoughtfully. “He won travel photographer of the year a few years ago, he usually gets hired by nature publications to do shoots for them.”

“Oh my god.” Taeyong coughed. Suddenly, Johnny’s enormous house up on the cliffside made sense.

“He’s got an eye for beauty.” Joohyun shrugged, a smile tugging the corners of her lips.

“Now who’s teasing.” Doyoung grumbled.

“They’re just saying,” Jaehyun smirked, “don’t be too shocked if you end up in Johnny’s camera roll. You’re his type.”

Taeyong wasn’t nearly as upset by this information as he should have been.

“Uncle Yong!” Donghyuck squealed, tearing Taeyong’s attention away from the strange emotions swirling inside of him. Johnny had the toddler pinned against him with one arm, tickling him with the free one. Somewhere in the fight against Johnny, Renjun and Jeno had clearly staged a coup against Mark, who they were holding down as Jaemin tickled him. “Help!”

“I’m coming!” He called, charging forward to rescue his nephew. In the meantime, he shelved his feelings about the conversation for another time.

☀☀☀

It was a couple weeks later that Ten’s impending visit finally arrived. Despite the many times Ten expressed how eager he was to meet and consequently threaten Johnny, Taeyong was excited to introduce the two.

“Why do I feel nervous?” Johnny had asked, poking his head out of the bathroom. It was the weekend before Ten’s arrival, and he had shown up at the guesthouse unprompted, asking to be put to work. Taeyong, on his way to clean rooms, had quickly recruited him. Donghyuck was spending the day with Doyoung, and while Taeyong was a little nervous, the other parent had yet to call and say Donghyuck was crying inconsolably, so at least he knew the sessions with Doctor Moon were helping the both of them.

“I don’t know.” Taeyong laughed, stripping the bed. The old sheets were thrown to the floor, new ones being spread over the mattress right away. “He’s just my friend.”

“He’s your _best_ friend.” Johnny ducked back into the bathroom, raising his voice over the sound of scrubbing. “There’s a difference.”

“Okay,” Taeyong shrugged, “but you’re a close friend now, too.”

“I’m glad you say that, because if you hadn’t, I would have been secretly very hurt.” Johnny’s grin was audible in his voice.

“You’re unbearable.” Taeyong rolled his eyes, tucking the corners of the sheet in tightly.

They managed to get through all the rooms in record time, which was lucky, because Doyoung called Taeyong about an hour earlier than he was due to pick Donghyuck up.

“Hey, I’m so sorry,” Doyoung sighed, “Jeno just started throwing up. Nothing major, but I think he might have caught the tummy bug. You might want to come and pick up your kiddo.”

Taeyong had anxiously made it through the following forty-eight hours waiting for any sign of fever or nausea. Donghyuck, however, had continued on his merry way, being the same happy toddler he always was. Johnny had been over late the night before Ten’s scheduled arrival, though, and Taeyong had naively let the toddler stay up with them.

Donghyuck, consequently, was in a terrible mood.

“Donghyuck, baby, _please_ just play with your toys, alright? Uncle needs to get some work done.” Taeyong squeezed the little boy extra tight before bending to set him on the play rug in the corner of the office. As much as he would’ve loved to snuggle all day long, he needed to sort through some paperwork before Ten came and took up the rest of his week.

“Wanna sit with you.” Donghyuck sniffled. The closer Taeyong leaned to the ground, the more the toddler lifted his legs, doing his best to avoid being set down.

“What’s with you, bud?” Taeyong grunted, finally plopping the kid onto the rug, only for the little one to grip onto the sleeves of his hoodie. “You’re so clingy today.” 

Donghyuck simply whined, clinging tighter. Taeyong winced at the way his hoodie sleeves stretched the longer he wrestled with Donghyuck. In the middle of this war of wills, the bell over the door rang.

“Cuddle pleeeease!” Donghyuck was about to start tantruming. Taeyong finally caved, scooping the squirming toddler into his arms again.

“Okay, okay, fine.” He pressed his lips to Donghyuck’s forehead, both to soothe him and to get a read on his temperature. He was a little warm, but he assumed it was the natural result of basically doing a full Olympian gymnastics routine to stay attached to his guardian. “It sounds like Uncle Tennie is here, anyhow. Wanna go say hi?”

“No hi.” He muttered grumpily. Taeyong bit back a smile. Even when upset, Donghyuck was adorable.

“Oh, but you love your Uncle Ten! He gave you Bear, remember?” Taeyong smiled, trying to infect Donghyuck with some of his own excitement over the arrival of his best friend. “Come on, not even a little smile?”

“Hmmph.” Donghyuck frowned harder. Taeyong sighed, brushing it off.

“Hey Tennie, I’m in here! I didn’t see your text. His highness over here has been demanding my attention all day.” Taeyong yelled through the open door, dodging back to his desk to fix the papers strewn about before trying to get to the lobby. “Doctor Moon says it’s just part of grief, especially in little ones, but he’d been better lately so I don’t know—.”

“So it’s true.” A voice that sent an icy spear of dread right through Taeyong’s chest cut him off, “She left it all to _you_. Unbelievable.”

“Mom.” Donghyuck’s frumpled little head popped up at the way his uncle’s tone flattened. Taeyong rubbed his back, pressing the toddler’s head back to where it had been resting against his chest, steeling himself before walking out of the office.

He hadn’t seen his mother since he was nineteen years old. Boa had been away at college the night they kicked him out, not able to be the buffer she usually was when things got tense. He had just graduated, and he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do with his life, but he knew it wasn’t law or medicine. As it was, his parents were furious with his sister for switching her degree to business from nursing.

His last memory of his parents was his father’s dark, angry face as he told Taeyong he no longer had a son, and his mother’s silent complacence with that statement. He had thrown everything he could see through the blur of his tears into a backpack, walked straight to Ten’s, and never looked back.

His mother looked much the same as she did that night, six years ago. She was a little older, there was a bit of gray to her otherwise black hair, but her pinched expression and the open disdain on her face were enough to make Taeyong feel nineteen years old again.

“What are you doing here?” Taeyong blinked, “Is something wrong? Is it dad?”

“Your father is fine.” She set her purse on the counter, glancing around the lobby as if it were a dingy alley rather than a guesthouse. “I’m here for my grandson.”

Dread. Pure unfiltered dread flooded Taeyong’s system, froze him for a half second before he realized that Donghyuck— sweet, loving, funny, vibrant Donghyuck— was staring up at him with big brown eyes.

 _You are not nineteen anymore_ , he breathed, steeling himself, _You have nothing to be afraid of. The law is on your side, Boa’s will states_ you _as his sole guardian. You can’t panic right now. Donghyuck needs you. You can break down when Ten comes._

“What about him?” Taeyong replied coolly.

“Well, it’s clear my daughter wrote her will while we were still at odds.” His mother was still beautiful, much in the same way a handcrafted knife is— one could get so caught up in admiring it, they would neglect to exercise caution around its sharp edges. “She was throwing a fit that your father and I wouldn’t approve of her series of…” her eyes slid down, landing on Donghyuck, “missteps, and clearly you became the benefactor of that tension.”

“ _Missteps_?” Taeyong hissed, holding Donghyuck to his chest, “God, do you even hear yourself when you talk? ”

“You aren’t responsible enough to care for yourself, my foolish son.” She brushed off his anger as if it didn’t affect her, but he knew his mother’s anger well enough to recognize that his call out of her wording infuriated her. “What, you think adding a child and a business into the mix will be easy? Please.”

Taeyong was angry— beyond that, really. He was baffled and enraged that his mother had come down here to prey on the insecurities she had sown in him since childhood. Inadequacy, incompetence, everything. But beneath that, underneath it all, he had a single seed of gratitude. He drew upon the strength he’d developed over his time in Jeju, with Donghyuck and the community surrounding the child, the community that took him on, showed him his strengths and supported him in his weaknesses.

“What are you here for?” He snapped, rubbing gently at Donghyuck’s back. “Really? I know you’re not here for me, so is it him you want?”

He watched in disgust as his mother’s mouth twitched, a miniature version of her grimace. So, she didn’t want Donghyuck. Taeyong pondered for a second more before he connected it.

“You somehow saw her accounts, didn’t you?” His blood ran cold. Donghyuck whimpered in his arms. “You want the money. And you would use him to get to it.”

“And what are you doing with it?” Her eyes narrowed, lip curling. “Living large off your inheritance while you sink this place into the ground?”

“I’m assuming you only saw the numbers, yes?” Taeyong’s back straightened as he carried himself at full height. “Surely if you saw the full rundown on all that she owned, you would know that a majority of her assets are represented in her having owned this property and business. She’s only had this place for three years, she hadn’t finished paying it off before the accident. There isn’t any money, mom. You came here for nothing.”

“Uncle Yong?” Donghyuck’s sweet voice pulled him out of his haze of anger, and he felt his heart tug as he met his nephew’s wide, teary eyes. “Are you mad?”

“It’s okay, sunshine.” He murmured, turning back to his mother. “I would say that this is low for you, but you passed that bar when you held an ostentatious funeral for a daughter you were estranged from, in a city hours away from the place she called home.”

“You don’t know how to raise a child—!” She sneered, but Taeyong cut her off.

“And neither do you,” Taeyong snapped, “the only one of us who did was my sister. But she’s gone. So I just have to trust that the way she raised me is going to carry through to her son. I’m not her, but I’m just going to keep doing what she would have done, and I’m fully confident that right now, she would tell you that you need to leave right now.”

“You bastard—!” She was cut off by the bell over the door.

“Now.” He stared her down, not breaking her gaze. She glared back at him, just for a moment, before snatching her belongings and storming out.

Taeyong watched her brush past a short figure standing between the door and the desk. Ten watched her leave with a bewildered expression, waiting until she was safely out the door before turning back to Taeyong.

“What was that?” He blinked. Donghyuck promptly burst into tears. Taeyong wilted against the desk.

“That was my mother.” He breathed, cradling Donghyuck close to him. “Although I don’t expect she’ll be returning anytime soon. Or ever.”

Ten’s eyes narrowed, “I should have tripped her.”

Taeyong felt an unexpected burst of laughter bubble up from inside of him.

“It’s good to see you, Tennie.”

☀☀☀

While Ten went to settle his things in his room, Taeyong put a fussy Donghyuck down for a nap.

“My tummy hurrrts.” The toddler whined, eyelids fluttering. Taeyong felt his forehead again, a frown tugging the corners of his mouth.

“I think you just need to lie down for a bit, sunshine.” Taeyong took a deep breath to settle himself. Donghyuck was warm, but not alarmingly so. He’d managed to feed him some fever reducing medicine from the cabinet, and he hoped that would take effect while Donghyuck was napping.

Thankfully, it didn’t take long before sleep dragged Donghyuck into its embrace, and Taeyong shuffled back into the living room to find Ten sprawled on the sofa.

“Before you ask,” Taeyong sighed, collapsing next to his best friend, “I had no idea she was coming. I think that might have been the point. She wanted to ambush me.”

“The more I think about it, the more I wish I’d followed my initial instinct to trip her.” Ten sighed, wrapping his arms around Taeyong. “Why did I pass it up?”

“Because it’s poor form to trip older ladies who give you bad vibes without probable cause.”

“Mm that’s true.” Ten laughed, ruffling Taeyong’s hair. “You took her like a champ, though. She looked pissed.”

“I essentially called her stupid to her face and told her never to talk to me or Donghyuck ever again.” Taeyong smiled. “She was furious.”

“You’re different.” Ten poked his head up, smiling down at him. “You wouldn’t have been able to have that conversation two months ago.”

Had it really been so long? Taeyong felt equal parts confident and unsure in his daily role of caring for Donghyuck, but the burden was lighter the more he shared it.

“Well,” Taeyong shrugged, snuggling into Ten’s side, “I guess I have things worth fighting for now.”

They stayed tangled together on the couch for a while, basking in each other’s company. They caught up, and they reminisced. They laughed and made plans for dinner, and a tentative schedule for the few days that Ten was in town. It was a couple hours that felt like moments later that Taeyong heard Donghyuck crying.

“Oh boy.” He sighed, hoisting himself from the couch. “Already crying. Not a good sign.”

“Godspeed, soldier.” Ten mockingly saluted him, snuggling into the couch.

Taeyong opened the door to the room, slowly allowing the hallway light to illuminate the space.

“Good morning,” He leaned down, scooping Donghyuck into his arms. Immediately, it felt wrong, “Oh, bud.”

Donghyuck was burning up, shivering in his arms. Sweat had matted his curls to his head, and he clung to Taeyong, whimpering. 

“Ten!” He poked his head out the door. “I think we need to go to the walk-in clinic. He’s got a fever.”

“Never a dull moment around here, huh?” Ten frowned, getting up and approaching the two of them. “Yeah, he’s not doing too hot. Let’s get going.”

Taeyong was fighting down his own feelings of panic, sliding his shoes on and rushing through the lobby. Ten was hot on his trail, following on his heels as they pushed through the front door of the guesthouse. In the driveway, of course, was Johnny.

“What’s wrong?” Johnny’s eyes zeroed in on Donghyuck, bundled in a blanket and nestled in Taeyong’s arms.

“He’s got a fever,” Taeyong pointedly ignored the way Ten was looking over Johnny like a lion regarding its next meal, “it’s probably just what Jeno has, but—.”

“Never hurts to be sure.” Johnny nodded, running a hand over Donghyuck’s forehead. He glanced up, finally noticing Ten. “Oh, I’m being rude, sorry. I’m Johnny.”

“I’m impressed.” Ten nodded. Taeyong rolled his eyes.

“What?” Johnny blinked.

“The clinic?” Taeyong snatched the keys from Ten’s hand, unlocking his car. Securing Donghyuck in his seat is an ordeal, but he manages. He glances up to see Johnny in the front seat, as Ten slides in the back with Donghyuck.

“This way I can keep an eye on everyone.” Ten smiled serenely. Taeyong decided he simply didn’t have time to engage that comment, closing the door and circling around to the front.

The ride to the clinic was quiet, fraught with Taeyong’s barely controlled nerves as he bent the speed limit the entire way there. As they pulled into the parking lot, a hand landed on his shoulder.

“He’s going to be fine.” Johnny murmured.

“I know.” Taeyong sucked in a deep breath, unbuckling his seatbelt once the car was safely in park. 

“You’re going to worry anyways, though.” Johnny sighed, unbuckling his own belt and reaching for the keys. “You take the kid, I’ll lock up the car.”

“Thanks.” Taeyong breathed, hopping out and circling to the back to grab Donghyuck. He wasn’t much better, but he was awake. Glancing at Ten, he spat out a quick, “Behave.” before slamming the door in his face.

“Where are we? I go to bed?” Donghyuck mumbled.

“We’re gonna make you feel all better, okay bud?” Taeyong smiled, tucking Donghyuck into his shoulder and jogging to the reception desk.

After an hour of holding an uncooperative, sick toddler as a doctor examined him, Taeyong finally received confirmation that Donghyuck’s fever was likely the same bug Jeno had.

“It’s common for this time of year.” Doctor Kim Junmyeon had a nice smile, and Donghyuck was staring transfixed at the teddy bear embroidered on his lab coat. “He’ll just need medicine and sleep, and lots of fluids. His fever is already reducing, but if it get bad and won’t go down, bring him back.”

Johnny and Ten were sat in the lobby, shooting to their feet as soon as Taeyong came back through the doors.

“He’s fine, just the tummy bug.” Taeyong said before either of them could ask. He turned to Johnny, “Did he threaten you while I was gone?”

“I behaved, thank you for asking.” Ten sniffed, reaching over to push Donghyuck’s curls from his face. “I even took the liberty of ordering a pizza to the guesthouse. It should be there right as we get back.”

“We go home now?” Donghyuck snuffled. Taeyong smiled, shooting a glance at his friends.

“Yeah, bud,” Taeyong nodded, “we’re going home.”

☀☀☀

Donghyuck went straight to bed after getting back, and Taeyong wondered if he had the social battery to face the situation that was likely going on in his living room. Then again, he very well couldn’t just stand and watch Donghyuck sleep all night, as peaceful as that sounded. With a resigned sigh, he exited the room, gently shutting the door behind him.

Johnny and Ten were chatting in the living room, their jobs seeming to be the topic of conversation. Johnny cut himself off abruptly as soon as Taeyong appeared in the hallway, and Ten watched with a gleeful shine in his eye.

“Did he go down alright?” Johnny asked, nodding behind Taeyong.

“Yeah, he’s out.” He sighed, collapsing in the corner armchair and reaching for a slice of pizza. He only barely registered flavor as he chewed mechanically, completely uncaring except to fill his empty stomach.

“Well,” Ten clapped his hands, “I’m exhausted. It’s been a big day. I think I’ll head up to my room and turn in for the night.” He sent Taeyong an unsubtle wink as he stood. “Johnny, it’s been wonderful meeting you. I can now see why TY speaks so highly of you.”

“Good _night_ , Chittaphon.” Taeyong groaned as his best friend skirted out of his reach, darting for the door.

“Goodnight!” Johnny called. The door slammed, and quiet descended upon the apartment.

“So much for introducing you two.” Taeyong dragged a hand over his face, shaking his head. “Sorry for throwing you to the wolves.”

“You make him sound terrifying,” Johnny laughed, “he’s a great guy. I can see why you love him.”

“He’s my bodyguard.” Taeyong snorted, standing to shuffle over to the couch. “So.”

“So?” Johnny quirked an eyebrow.

“What did Ten say to you in the waiting room? And don’t say nothing, you looked spooked when I came out.” Taeyong stole a glance at Johnny from the corner of his eye. 

His head was tilted back on the couch, neck exposed in a way that made Taeyong’s breath catch, just the slightest bit. What would it be like, he wondered, to nose along the skin there? To taste his pulse point, to nip along his jawline and leave a mark?

Johnny’s laugh broke Taeyong out of his primal, horny shame spiral.

“He gave me the kind of talk you’d expect.” The older man turned his head to rest his cheek against the cushion, gaze fixed on Taeyong. “He told me that you haven’t had an easy life, which I knew from what you told me. He said you hadn’t had many people on your side, so I should just assume you aren’t asking for help even if you need it and always offer.”

“You already do that.” He hated the way he could feel the blush spreading up his neck, dusting his cheeks. 

“Mm, I do.” Johnny hummed in agreement. “He also told me what happened this afternoon.”

“I was going to tell you—.” Taeyong started.

“It’s okay,” Johnny shrugged, brushing it off, “He just wanted me to know. He’s a good friend. I’m glad you had him before all of this happened.” He gestured broadly around, seeming to encapsulate both Donghyuck and the guesthouse in his flailing.

“I’m lucky to have him.” Taeyong agreed. “However, that still doesn’t explain the look on your face.”

“Ah, well.” Johnny’s laugh turned sheepish. “He asked me about my intentions.”

“He—?” Taeyong gasped, sitting up.

“No, it’s okay. Really.” Hands wound around his shoulders, pulling him back down before he could really go anywhere. Not that he’d had a plan beyond fleeing the room. “He was looking out for you and Hyuckie. I can’t fault him for that when I’d be doing the same in his shoes.”

“What did he say?” Taeyong moaned, running a hand down his face. Johnny caught him by the wrist, pulling his hand into his lap. He had sat upright at some point during Taeyong’s pity party, and was now staring at him with an alarmingly sober expression.

“He said,” Johnny took a breath, looking nervous, “that it wasn’t often he saw you trust someone the way you seem to trust me. That earning your trust is a gift that I shouldn’t waste... And that, for all of our sakes, I need to figure out if I want to be a permanent support for both of you, or if I’m only interested in Donghyuck.”

Taeyong swallowed, his stomach roiling with mingled hope and anxiety.

“And?” He asked, somewhat breathless. “What’s your answer?”

The next few moments played out like a film.

He had time to register Johnny’s fingers gently sliding along his jaw, turning his head so they were looking at each other. Johnny’s gaze was thoughtful, eyes dark and full of some indistinguishable emotion, like dark clouds hovering along the horizon despite a sunny forecast.

Johnny contemplated him for a second, maybe two, before leaning in. Taeyong’s eyes slid shut.

And then, impact.

Johnny’s lips tasted like peaches, and his lips were somehow even softer than Taeyong had imagined. His tongue ran along Taeyong’s bottom lip, and despite his best efforts, he let out a soft gasp betraying exactly how deprived he’d been the past few months.

Taeyong felt himself surge forward, as if his brain had seceded from his body, felt his arms slide around Johnny’s neck and into his hair, fingers tangling in the soft locks.

Johnny’s hands gripped his hips, pulling Taeyong forward to straddle his lap. He broke the kiss to begin trailing heated kisses down Taeyong’s neck and across his jaw, even pulling at the collar of his shirt to get at his collarbones.

“Hold on,” Taeyong gasped, pulling away just slightly, “wait, just a sec.”

“Is something wrong?” Johnny sat back, eyes scanning Taeyong’s face anxiously. Warmth bloomed in his chest, realizing how much the other truly cared for him. Indulgently, he planted a kiss on the little worry wrinkle between Johnny’s brows.

“No, it’s not that.” Taeyong shook his head, “I just... I don’t know...”

“It’s okay, take a breath.” Johnny stroked over his arms, soothing him. Taeyong mirrored Johnny’s breaths, calming himself.

“Sorry.” He murmured. It was as if the bubble of the last few moments had burst, landing him back on the ground, and sorer for it.

“No need to apologize.” Johnny shook his head. “Is this not… something you want?”

“I…” He hesitated. He knew that, if things were just about him, if there was nobody else in the equation, the answer would be an unequivocal _yes_ , he wants this. But it wasn’t just him anymore.

“You’re overthinking.” Johnny poked his forehead. “I can hear it whirring like an overheating desktop.”

And that was it, wasn’t it? He was weak to Johnny, he buckled under the weight of being seen, and accepted, still. Doctor Moon’s voice echoed in his mind, _enjoy it_. 

“I like you a lot.” Taeyong whispered. Johnny’s eyes lit up in a way that was unbearably sweet. “More than I should.”

“I like you, too.” Johnny murmured before kissing him once more. This time, Taeyong sunk into it, surrendering himself to Johnny’s affections.

☀☀☀

After a weekend full of sight-seeing and lying around on the beach, Ten departed back to Seoul with a sonorous kiss on the cheek and whispered congratulations.

“It’s good to see you happy, TY.” Ten smiled, glancing at Johnny.

“I was happy before.” Taeyong rolled his eyes, although his gaze slid back to where a newly recovered Donghyuck was sitting on Johnny’s shoulders, waving goodbye to Ten by the door to the guesthouse.

“You were,” Ten nodded, bumping his shoulder, “but not like _this_.”

He couldn’t argue with that. His happiness bloomed in every area of his life, the days seeming to fly by. In his appointment with Doctor Moon, the therapist set his notepad down at the end of the session with a wistful smile.

“I have to say, you’ve both come a long way from when I first met with you.” Taeil sighed. “I feel like both of you have progressed to the point where weekly meetings simply aren’t needed anymore. You could probably cut down to biweekly, or monthly, if you choose.”

It was for the best, as sad as he was to cut down time with the doctor, who he had grown rather close with. The busy season was about to begin, and bookings were already flooding in for the summer months.

It was on a sunny spring day that Johnny mentioned wanting to go out on his boat. They were in the office, Donghyuck sitting between Johnny’s legs as they worked on a puzzle together. Taeyong was double-checking bookings, half-listening to his boyfriend. Donghyuck, however, took interest.

“Boat?” Donghyuck gasped.

“Yeah, you remember my boat, right bud?” Johnny smiled, and Taeyong glanced up from the computer. “I forgot I took you out on the water last summer.”

“We can go again?” Donghyuck asked, laying the pleading tone on thick. He was beginning to figure out that his eyes were a weakness for many of the adults around him, which concerned Taeyong to no end.

“If your Uncle Yong says so, yeah.” Johnny nodded. Taeyong found himself the subject of two pairs of pleading eyes.

“You’re both unbelievable,” he sighed, though he knew it was hard to take him seriously with the smile creeping over his face, “yeah, okay we can go on the boat.”

And so, Taeyong found himself standing on the dock, not far from the cliffs upon which both their homes sat. The water was a gorgeous, cyan blue, and the weather was just warming up enough that Donghyuck was wearing his Paw Patrol swim trunks. The toddler, bundled in a tiny life jacket, jumped up and down as a midsized motor boat pulled up to the dock.

“All aboard!” Johnny called. Taeyong wondered, not for the first time, how well Johnny’s job paid to afford the things he does.

“Yay!” Donghyuck cheered, reaching out for the boat ladder. Taeyong just barely caught him by the lifejacket strap before he tumbled into the water.

“Why don’t you let me and Johnny help you, alright?” He offered, scooping the toddler and setting him safely inside the boat before climbing in himself.

“Boat!” Donghyuck cheered, ignoring his uncle.

“Welcome aboard.” Johnny smiled, pressing a kiss to his cheek in greeting before grabbing Donghyuck and pulling him into his lap. “Can you help me drive?”

“I can help.” Donghyuck nodded with a seriousness betrayed by his uncontrollable excited wiggles.

“Good.” Johnny snickered, placing the toddler’s hands on the wheel. “Hold on to this for me. I can steer, but I need you to hold it in place for me. You got it?”

“I got it!” Donghyuck beamed. Taeyong snuck a photo with his phone. It was too precious. Then he settled in as the boat pulled away from the dock, speeding off into the open ocean.

“Where are we headed?” Taeyong asked over the roar of the wind.

“There’s a sandbar not far from here,” Johnny smiled, holding Hyuck in his arms as they bumped over a particularly large wave, “I’ve always wanted to take photos there.”

“Ah, so that’s your plan?” He smirked.

“What plan?” Johnny feigned innocence too well. “I don’t have a plan.”

Taeyong bit back a smile, choosing to lean his head back and bask in the sun as they flew over the waves.

Donghyuck was all too thrilled to help let the anchor down, leaping out of the boat with no fear when they arrived at the sand bar. However, once in the water, Taeyong came to the realization that Donghyuck had yet to learn how to propel himself. He bobbed around in the water like a cork.

“I… stuck.” The toddler declared in a puzzled tone. With a laugh, Taeyong hopped off the vessel and into the surf, tugging Donghyuck onto his belly.

“Kick your feet, just like that,” he instructed, helping push Donghyuck to a point where he could set his feet in the sand and stand upright, “that’s it! Good job!”

“Smile!” Johnny called, the camera clicking before Taeyong had time to react.

“I wasn’t ready.” He frowned. Johnny checked the shot, looking over at him with an unbearably soft expression.

“You look beautiful.”

It was a gorgeous day, Donghyuck’s already tan complexion turning him even more golden. Taeyong religiously slathered him with sunscreen, hoping to the powers above that the toddler wasn’t burning to a crisp in the harsh sun.

In the midst of his fretting, Johnny was photographing the horizon, the water, Donghyuck, and, of course, Taeyong.

“You could’ve been a model in another life.” Johnny commented. Taeyong flicked his forehead with a snort.

“Please.” He steadily ignored the flush rising on his cheeks at the comment.

As lunch time rolled around, Taeyong situated everyone with sandwiches he had packed from home, and Johnny brought the boat back toward the island, anchoring once more by the reef. It was an uphill battle trying to get Donghyuck to focus on his food while there were fish swimming beneath them in the clear water, and Taeyong soon surrendered.

“Don’t lean too far over the edge, Hyuck.” He warned, turning to Johnny.

“He’s got his life jacket on,” he reassured him, “plus, you can’t really fault him. He loves this kind of stuff. Last time we took the boat out, he went through an epic dolphin obsession.”

“Thanks for the heads up.” Taeyong sighed, settling into Johnny’s side. A lanky arm came to rest across his shoulder, pulling him closer.

“I’ve been thinking…” Johnny trailed off, glancing up at their homes nestled into the cliffside.

“That’s dangerous.” Taeyong smiled.

“Hush.” He huffed in response. “I was _thinking_ … You know. After the summer season is up, if you would like to go on a vacation together.”

“Where to?” Taeyong smiled, lavishing in the sun and the warmth of Johnny’s body pressed up against his own.

“I have a short shoot scheduled in Scotland.” Johnny admitted, a giddy smile overtaking his face. “It would take a max of three days. We could fly over together, or you could come meet me when I’m finished. It could be a celebration, for getting through your first busy season. What do you think?”

“I think—.” Taeyong was cut short by the sudden realization that Donghyuck had gone quiet. He sat up, dread filling him as he scrambled to stand. “Donghyuck?”

“What? What is it?” Johnny bolted to his feet. The edge of the boat, where Donghyuck was supposed to be sitting, was completely empty.

“Johnny, he’s gone.” Taeyong gasped. “What if he went under? Where’s his life jacket?”

“Calm down—.”

“I can’t calm down!” Taeyong shouted, rushing for the edge. “Donghyuck!”

“I’m stuck.” The toddler’s voice was possibly the sweetest thing he had ever heard. Taeyong looked down to see his nephew, dripping wet and clinging to the ladder. Without a second thought, he scooped him up, cradling the baby close to his chest. 

“You scared me!” He breathed, holding Donghyuck out to examine every inch of his body for injury. “I told you to be careful!”

“Sorry.” Donghyuck’s chin wobbled, and Taeyong was nearly bowed over with guilt.

“No, sunshine, it’s not your fault.” He crushed the child against him again. “I’m sorry, I should have been watching you. I’m sorry.”

“Taeyong?” Johnny’s hand burned against his shoulder, and he all but threw it off of him.

“I want to go home.”

“Tae—.” The hurt was clear in Johnny’s voice, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“I said I want to go home now.” He stated, his voice flat. He didn’t need to turn around to know Johnny was hurt, but his stricken expression still caused a fracture to go shooting down Taeyong’s heart.

The ride back to the marina was quiet, Johnny pulling into his spot and mooring the boat to the dock as Taeyong carried Donghyuck gently back to dry land. He waited for Johnny at the end of the dock, and they walked in silence back to the cars.

Johnny waited as Taeyong buckled Donghyuck into his seat, closing the door before turning to him.

“I’m sorry—.” Johnny began, but Taeyong cut him off.

“No, I’m sorry.” He sighed. “This isn’t your fault. It’s mine. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.”

“It’s understandable.” Johnny shook his head, reaching a hand out to cup the side of Taeyong’s neck. Reflexively, Taeyong pushed his hand away. Johnny’s face fell.

“You know we can’t do this, right?” Taeyong asked, defeat clear in his tone.

“No.” Johnny’s voice hardened. “No, Taeyong. Don’t push me away.”

“I think it was just made pretty clear that I’m not capable of taking care of Donghyuck and having… whatever this is.” Taeyong stepped back, wrapping his arms around himself. “I’m sorry Johnny. I wanted this. I really did.”

“Please, Taeyong.”

“I was being selfish.” He breathed, holding himself tightly. “I recognize that now. I think… I just need to focus on Donghyuck. I’m sorry.”

Before Johnny could protest again, Taeyong escaped to the other side of the car, starting up the engine and pulling away before the tears could begin to fall.

“Uncle Yong?” Donghyuck watched him in the back seat as he fought to hold himself together.

“It’s fine, sunshine.” The words were flimsy, even in his own ears. “Everything is okay.”

☀☀☀

News traveled fast in small towns. Just as everyone knew as soon as Taeyong and Johnny came together, everyone knew when they broke it off.

Jungwoo gave him an extra generous pour of coffee the next time he and Donghyuck visited the diner. The adults at playgroup talked wide circles around the new hole in his life, going out of their way not to mention Johnny in his presence. Even Doctor Moon didn’t broach the subject, though he alluded to it, probably hoping Taeyong would bring it up himself. It never worked.

It was, in a word, terrible.

The worst was probably that he saw Johnny everywhere, too. Their short-lived relationship ending wasn’t the end of Johnny’s relationship with Donghyuck, after all. Of course a few weeks of dating couldn’t overpower years poured into a child’s life.

And yet, whenever Johnny came to the office to take care of Dongyuck for the afternoon, Taeyong felt the yearning question in his gaze just as surely as if he had voiced it. Still, he held out for only a couple weeks before he couldn’t take it any longer.

He eventually reached a breaking point. He called Ten.

“Johnny and I broke up.” He confessed into the receiver.

“Good morning to you, too.” Ten mumbled groggily. There was a two second lull, and Taeyong had just enough time to pull the phone away from his ear before Ten screamed. “Wait what?!”

“I had to.” Taeyong flopped back on the couch he had called a bed for the past few months. “I was letting my relationship take over my life. I wasn’t taking as much care of Donghyuck as I should have been.”

“You’re joking.” Ten scoffed. “The two of you combined fret over him so much, your combined worry energy could be harvested as a new form of clean power. You could light up the entirety of Seoul with how much the both of you fuss over him.”

“Well, apparently that’s not the case.” Taeyong ran a hand through his hair.

“You wouldn’t be calling me about this at five in the morning if you were totally fine about this.” Ten pointed out. “Did you even sleep?”

“The couch is uncomfortable.” Taeyong grumbled.

“You knew I wouldn’t approve, either, so you didn’t call me for that.”

“Maybe I just missed you!” He protested.

“So that can pretty much only mean that, whether you are conscious of it or not, you called me to talk you out of this decision you probably made in the heat of the moment and are now deeply regretting.”

“Goodby, Ten.” Taeyong huffed, hanging up promptly. He was being infantile, he knew, but he wasn’t sure how else to confront it.

Ten was right. He was miserable.

He scrubbed a hand over his face, sitting up and glancing around the dark apartment. He swiped the baby monitor from the side table, carrying it with him out into the lobby. If he couldn’t sleep, at least he could work.

The mail had already arrived, he noticed, a large yellow envelope sitting on the reception desk. It was addressed to him, sent from the lawyer’s office up in Seoul. The one in charge of Boa’s will.

He slid along the flap, tearing it open and shaking the contents onto the desk. Inside was a letter printed on the law firm's cardstock, and two envelopes with familiar handwriting emblazoned across the back.

Everything in him wanted to tear into the envelope, but he made himself scan the cardstock letter first. Boa’s estate lawyer, a kind man by the name of Kim Minseok, had finally been able to check Boa’s security box at the bank. There wasn’t much inside, except for the two letters. She had likely gotten it with the intent of putting important documents and valuables inside, but never had the chance to.

Taeyong grew impatient, tossing the letter to the side and picking up the envelopes. The thicker one by far had Donghyuck’s name on it, and seemed to be full of several notes. He set it to the side, unsure if opening that was really a good idea. The other envelope, however, spelled his name.

He tore into it.

As he unfolded the letter, he took a moment to bask in a page full of her handwriting.

_Dear Taeyong,_

_I hope you never have to read this letter. Truly. If you are, then I’m sure you’re hurting a lot. It feels morbid to even sit down and write it myself, and I probably wouldn’t do it if it weren’t important._

_I’ve probably already told you, or you found out, that I named you as Donghyuck’s guardian, and the one I want to take over Starry Night if anything were to happen to me. I trust you more than anyone else to care for them with everything you have. But I have to be honest, Yongie. I know you._

_I know that you feel a lot of guilt about us being estranged. I need you to know that I understand, that I’m not upset. You needed time to heal from the things I couldn’t protect you from. You beat yourself up for things, but please know that I would never be angry with you for this._

_The money I leave behind is for you and Donghyuck to live with. Running a guesthouse is a lot. You can sell it if you need to, or even if you just don’t want to deal with it. Trust me, I understand. Please don’t think I’m leaving you everything as a last resort, or as some kind of test to see how mature and grown up you are. I already know you’ve become a wonderful young man._

_More than anything, you and Donghyuck are my everything. The guesthouse is my dream, but it’s_ my _dream. It doesn’t have to be yours. My dream for you is that you would live well, and be happy. You are so used to denying yourself things, my sweet little brother, but I need you to know that you only owe me this one thing: live happily with my son. Your happiness is just as important to me as his. Don’t deny yourself joy for the sake of whatever you convince yourself that I want. Your happiness, and his happiness. That’s it._

_Again, I hope you never need to receive this letter. But if you do, I know that Donghyuck will grow up well with you as his guardian. You are both the most precious things in my life, nothing else matters aside from you, so please take care of each other._

_I love you. I love you. I love you._

_B._

_P.s.— Donghyuck’s envelope has a letter for each major life event. Just in case. Please dispense one to him for each milestone._

Tears fell down onto the page, blurring the ink in spots. With a muted gasp, Taeyong dabbed at the paper with a sleeve.

Before he knew it, he was in the apartment, pulling a groggy Donghyuck out of his bed.

“It’s bedtime?” Donghyuck mumbled groggily.

“You can stay asleep,” Taeyong whispered, into Donghyuck’s curls, “there’s just something I gotta do, okay?”

☀☀☀

Ringing Johnny’s doorbell at almost seven in the morning wasn’t on Taeyong’s schedule for the day, but it was completely necessary. He stood, sleeping toddler in his arms and heart in his throat, having walked down the road in his pajamas with a single minded goal. 

These thoughts were all very brave and poetic, but evaporated almost as soon as Johnny opened the door.

“Taeyong?” He blinked, obviously still sleepy. His eyes widened as they landed on Hyuck. “Is he—?”

“He’s fine, sorry,” Taeyong shifted the toddler, shaking his head, “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just. I need to talk to you.”

“Okay.” Johnny nodded, opening the door wider. Taeyong gratefully shuffled inside, toeing off his shoes and following Johnny through his expansive home. It really was like one of those houses in the dramas, he mused to himself.

“Was there any reason this couldn’t wait until a normal time?” Johnny gestured for Taeyong to take a seat. He did so gratefully, setting Donghyuck down beside him. He didn’t even move, he was so knocked out.

“Not really.” Taeyong sighed, folding his hands in his lap. “I just… I realized— Well. Boa helped me realize something.”

“Boa?” Johnny shook his head.

“She wrote a letter, I’m not sure when, but after she wrote up her will and everything.” Taeyong sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “And she told me that I tend to assume I know what she would want, but then I assume wrong and make everyone miserable and… I’m doing this wrong.”

“I think I’m kind of understanding?” Johnny replied, and Taeyong smiled at the obvious lie. This boy really was too generous toward him.

“I guess I should just speak with my own words instead of trying to paraphrase hers.” Taeyong took a deep breath. “I fucked up. I got scared, and I found a reason why I shouldn’t choose to let myself be happy and took it as an out. And in the process, I hurt you. And I made things difficult for everyone else.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you looking at me, honestly, but after reading my sister’s letter, I realized that I don’t ever want you to stop looking at me. It’s been terrible pretending like not being with you was the best decision.” Taeyong glanced up to Johnny’s face, but couldn’t read the expression. He faltered, nervous. “I just wanted to tell you… that I was wrong. I shouldn’t have decided for the both of us, I shouldn’t have just assumed what my sister wanted. I shouldn’t keep holding you at arm’s length.”

“What are you asking?” Johnny’s hand twisted in the loose fabric of his pajamas.

“I guess,” Taeyong swallowed, “I’m asking for a second chance.”

Johnny nodded, standing to his feet. He sauntered away toward the window, floor-to-ceiling, just like at the Starry Night. Taeyong, shoving his fears down to the depths of his psyche, stood, following him.

“I wasn’t hurt that you decided on your own,” Johnny murmured, facing the window, “I was hurt that you thought that I wasn’t also scared out of my mind, when we couldn’t find him. I love that kid so much, maybe even as much as you do.”

“I know,” Taeyong breathed, “I know that.”

“I would never do anything to hurt you, or him,” Johnny turned to look at him, gaze imploring, “you know that?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” Johnny turned, grabbing his wrist and pulling him into his embrace, pressing a searing kiss into his mouth. Taeyong let himself be held, and held Johnny in return. As the sun began to rise above the Yellow Sea, Taeyong welcomed the dawn with his heart open.

☀☀☀

Jungwoo sat at the front desk, swinging his leg as he chatted with a couple checking in.

“The beach is pretty much the main event around here,” he smiled, sliding their room key across to them, “but there’s a couple of souvenir shops down on main street, and a grocery store in town if you need anything. If you want a list of restaurants, we have that as well.”

Taeyong peeked his head out of the office, shooting a thumbs up to the teenager. He was proving to be a fantastic hire, since he had the freedom to work two jobs in the summer. Taeyong was already working the budget, trying to find ways to keep him on through the winter months, as well.

The door to the apartment swung open, Donghyuck running out, squealing at the top of his lungs. The couple winced at the sound, but soon smiled as Donghyuck’s peals of laughter took over. Johnny came charging after him, wielding a plush penguin from his latest travels.

“Hey!” Taeyong scooped his nephew, grunting at how heavy he’d become. The almost-four-year-old kicked in his arms. “You need to slow down, speed racer.”

“Sorry,” Johnny sidled up to him, planting a kiss on his temple, “he was a sardine. I was the evil penguin king. It was a thrilling plot, very easy to get caught up in.”

“Oh, I’m sure.” Taeyong rolled his eyes, handing the toddler over to his significant other. Johnny promptly lifted Donghyuck’s shirt, blowing a raspberry on the child’s stomach. Donghyuck writhed, giggling and wiggling.

“We’re heading to the beach, if you’d care to join?” Johnny smiled. Taeyong glanced over his shoulder into the office. He had a million things to do.

“Jungwoo?” He sighed.

“I can hold down the fort.” He saluted, waving the guests toward the stairs to their room.

“I’ll meet you at the car.” Taeyong grinned, pressing a kiss to Johnny’s cheek as he darted back into the office to close the program he had open on the desktop. It only took a few minutes, and before he knew it, he was pushing through the front door of the Starry Night guesthouse, stepping out into the balmy sea air.

It was summer, six months past when he first met Donghyuck. The sky was blue, and the sun was shining. They had both come so far, and as his eyes landed on Johnny buckling Donghyuck into his carseat, he strode forward with the confidence that came with knowing where his future was headed.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave a comment / kudos / bookmark and let me know what you thought! Or find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/jyancity) or [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/jyancity).


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